Alright, so I've got an online friend, who, for the most part, is very easy to talk to. He's very laid-back, rational and reasonable. Recently, he posted a video (it was part of a competition that was all in good fun) that seemed to me like he was against the idea of transgenderism; that he thought that people who were transgender were only imagining things. About a good half-hour after watching his entry, I popped him a message on skype asking what fueled his idea for the entry. He responded with Warranting... Now what did he mean by that? Aaah, okay, then. Now why am I bringing this up? Well, I'm planning on telling both him and another online friend, possibly at the same time, about my LGBT stuff... And, I'm quite sure he's probably going to be very annoyed with me, and will want to argue with me over the whole "third gender" kind of thing. So, I typed up a little something: So I want to get it into his head that I really do feel this way... and although I do have a Tumblr, it has nothing to do with my self-exploration which never seems to end. Any ideas of what I could add in here, anything that I shouldn't have? What are your thoughts? I want to get an outside source before I send this to him.
The COGIATI is a pile of garbage, IMHO. Anyways, what your friend is saying is ... He seems like he doesn't know people who actually feel that way. Reminds me of a remark I saw someone make that "all androgynous people are hipster frauds" - they are angry at this invisible class of "pretenders" and not at the actual group they're insulting. Quite annoying. As someone who is (I think?) sexually straight but prefers acting, for lack for a better word, girlish(?) and is ... Perhaps similar to you in a few areas, here ... Just tell him and explain. I think it will work better than you think. In any case, I don't know if it matters. What matters is what you think and believe, not what he does.
...what to add? Maybe, how you see your future (being androgynous). Like, you're bisexual so The One for you could be a man or a woman, what about having kids? Will you be called Dad or Mom, or both, or something else? What about your dream job, will your coworkers know about this? How will you face them with it? Think about how being androgynous could/will influence the rest of your life, how you'll live your dreams, and how it won't keep you from reaching them. My point is, if you hold that friend dearly in your heart, it is a good idea to try and open their minds. It's also a good idea to show them that you're serious in knowing who you are and that's it's permanent. As in; I'm like this, and I love you, but don't try to change me or it's going to be bye bye! Yeah, a fair warning, if you will. And if they don't like what they hear they can go :goodluck:
The COGIATI is useless. Other then that Your message seems honest and genuine, and I see no reason to change that.
The COGIATI is not a test approved by medial professionals. It is made by a transgender as a challange for the scientific community to do better, in order to help people like us. And thus, you will see that it won't help you define who you are due to how underdeveloped it is. From my experience though, it does certainly help you explore certain aspect of you, and pose questions that you havent thought about yourself. Ultimately, it is your own journey to explore yourself. I wish you good luck on that yourney, and your relationship with your friend. =)
unfortunately there are a chunk of tumblr users that are genuinely not transgender and use the term (I have no idea why) same as with bisexuality on tumblr. the term "die cis scum" comes to mind.. also trollkin.
I'm not up for typing a long post now, maybe I will be later, but I think everyone has given pretty good advice so far. All I want to say is that you don't even need to justify yourself, if this person is truly a friend. Trans people already have to "prove" themselves to everyone else --- therapists, doctors, family, and the rest of society. If he doesn't believe you, or has trouble grasping that gender isn't a binary, that's his problem. As I recommend with anyone who is or feels they may be trans in some way, seeing a gender therapist is always a good idea if you have the resources. It could help you figure out which label you'd like to use to describe your gender, and what course you'd like to take from there, if any.
I know that the COGIATI isn't something to base your judgement on. It was mostly kind of an eye-opener to me, and that's what told me that there's more than just 2 genders, thus motivating me to research more on it. I have thought about my future and as far as colleagues go, I'd probably end up telling them when the time is right, whether it's one by one, or as a huge announcement, or whatever. I've been told I'm gonna be working with the people I'm currently at school with, so I gotta make sure that they're not the assholes that they don't seem to be, right now. As far as kids go, I'm personally not planning on it, as I've had to deal with screaming kids for more years than I wish to count (Yes, I'm 18, but it's still not pleasant when you're dealing with at least 1 screaming kid for over 10 years). That might change, depending on who I'm with (which will probably be a guy, since I'm Kinsey 4). As for being called Mom or Dad.... I'm fine with either. Yeah, I think that could definitely be a part of this message. And another part of this could be that I've considered going to a transgender therapist.. Actually, I tried that in High School, and the counselor wasn't that geared towards transgendered people.. She knew the resources, but not what I was looking for. Also, Wallflower, would you have any idea on how I could convince him that this is genuine, and not for teh lulz? I mean.. Does this seem to you that it's different than any of the Tumblr posts/messages?
Sorry for reviving an old thread.. But I still want to get this out. I gave him the new and improved version of the message above. He seemed to be fine with it, as he said something along the lines of "Hey, I haven't done nearly as much research as you have, so I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt". After a bit, another online friend (who knows the first one) wondered what the initial reaction was. Turns out, he was all "meh" over it.. So, I'm glad things are fine, now ^^ Could have been a TON worse, but I'm glad people are indifferent. Means we can still get our work done and go about life as we did before without a ton of drama.
Don't worry about reviving the thread. I'm glad you let us know everything worked out and I'm happy it did =)
