My boyfriend and I recently broke up, not because we weren't in love, but because he thinks he's gay. I understand where he's coming from and that he has been struggling with this part of himself for years. I want him to be happy. We're still friends and I'm glad to still be part of his life. Yet at the same time I feel like I'm falling apart. Some of my family is telling me it's my fault he "turned" gay. I want to be strong for him but don't know how to go about it feeling the way I do right now. :icon_sad: What should I do?
I'm sorry you're hurting, but you are doing the right thing for him and yourself. I know it's difficult right now, but things will get better in time--cliche, I know, but it's the truth. It's best to have let him go now, than to prolong the inevitable. I should know because I'm in your boyfriend's shoes. I was with the father of my kids for years, but I couldn't deny my feelings any longer. It was one of the hardest things that I've done in my life. You're lucky, at least you remain friends, but I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. My kids father and I are not friends; it was his decision to make and I respect that. Perhaps, you need closure; you did the right thing by letting him go, now it's time for you to focus on yourself and your happiness. I'm not saying that it's going to be easy because it's not. If crying helps then cry, if screaming helps then scream. Some people are just ignorant and you can't blame them because they're just misinformed. You can't turn someone gay, that's just unfathomable. I wouldn't let their opinion bother me because you know that it's not true. It's just a mean thing to say for whatever reason--I don't know. You have to grow thicker skin, for yourself because people will always find something mean to say about you. Just hang in there, it gets better
Don't blame yourself, you can't be 'turned' gay. Like you said, he's always struggled with apart of himself. It's nice that you can both be friends, because you're both going to need someone to lean on right now. I wish you both the best in life.
You can't turn someone gay.....don't listen to anyone that is saying that. They don't know what they are talking about. People are born gay. Sometimes it just takes some time to come to terms with it. All you can do is be supportive and not take blame for this difference. He is probably struggling with this and very confused. If he doesn't know about this site you might suggest he visit EC. It would offer him good support and comfort. Good luck.
