So I have no problem with being gay. I have totally come to accept it and it was never something I was afraid of. But I just found out that my late grandfather hated gay people, especially women. He was the one I wished was alive now so he could see what a great person I am and how well I sing and how smart I am.... Now I think he would have hated me and that none of the other stuff would have mattered at all to him. What do I do? It's making me so depressed.
I've heard of hundreds of gay people coming out to homophobic people/family/friends and having them accept them, even if it took some time. You should've dwell on what could have been. I'm sure your grandpa would have still loved you, he probably would just need sometime. I'm sorry you're feel down, though <3
My grandmother apparently had some racism stuck in her, which is really strange since she campaigned for Jesse Jackson in 1984. But when my brother started dating a black woman, she had some real problems with it. In her defense, she seemed to recognize that SHE was the one with a problem, and she eventually DID get over it. It's possible your grandfather would've gone along the same path. He may have simply been homophobic because nobody presented him with a good counterexample...which you would've been. Lex
Hey (*hug*), first, remember that your grandfather was from another time. A time when gay people were not visible as much as they are today. A time when it was much easier to have preconceived ideas about gay people because you were pretty sure to never see them anywhere but on TV. And then, remember it's always easier to hate an anonymous "gay crowd" then to hate someone you've raised, loved and cared about since their birth. Yes, your grandfather was homophobic, probably because most people from his age range were homophobic too and he never knew anything else. But that doesn't mean he wouldn't have change in a split second for your sake. I know several grand-parents who were homophobic and still love their gay grand-children for that only reason that they are their grand-children. For all you know, you're grand-father loved you, there is no reason to think that anything would have changed that. Take care, Cécile
We can't help how our parents and grandparents were raised. All we can do is be ourselves and make sure our children and grandchildren don't have to worry about us judging them. But I understand your problem. I loved my grandfather dearly, but he was a homophobe. My sexuality doesn't define who I am, so I don't regret never having told him. He knew I was a good person.
