So let's discuss the touchy topic of school. So I am not personally out, to some friends yes, but that's it. But as I now enter my sophomore year I'm learning much more. Apparently people think I'm gay, two people assuming within a week. A very popular guy, Tyler, is apparently bisexual. Another popular guy, Gage, is maybe gay. And there are MANY homophobes in our school. So firstly, people assuming I'm gay. The first time was by a freshman last friday, I said something that made me sound straight I guess and she said to me,"Oh, I thought you were gay to be honest." The second time was just yesterday. We were outside during a fire drill and my friend Becca said, "I have a straight best friend, a bisexual best friend, now I just need a gay best friend." So our mutual friend Sarah looks straight at me. Like wtf? So let's talk about Tyler. His girlfriend is Sarah. So I'm not friends with him really, I have friends who are friends with him. So during this same fire drill Becca says, to Sarah, "Well I had a bisexual best friend until you had to go and date him." Which completely went over my head. Popular guy, out in high school (not 100% sure on this), with his dad (or uncle, idk) being a teacher there, just is a really weird mix, don't ya think? So Gage is next, he's the more interesting one. So from what I've gathered from my being a 'wallflower' is that he is a coming-out gay or coming-out curious/bi. Latin class the other day: my friend Shelby,"I'm really trying to figure out if Gage is a faggot." Today in Trig was...interesting. "The first step is denial." (Umm bullshit from a straight guy much) and other stuff that I'm forgetting right now. But how Gage was speaking, he sits right next to me, he had a very defensive, snappy tone to his voice. A common tone, at least for me, when a LGBT guy is defending themselves. Should I maybe text my friend Matt to see what's up? Like I'm not interested in Gage in that way, I just want to know. As for the homophobes, same old story. Blah blah, they're all faggots, blah blah, I'd disown my son if he was gay, blah blah. I was ready to go and yell at them. But two girls, Rachel and Brette, who I'm friends with, were defending LGBT people, which scored them major points in my book. My big thing is, should I tell this, how poorly LGBT issues are brought up, to the school? There is an anonymous bullying form online that the principals and guidance counselors read so I could bring it up there, homophobes and what not.
You should only "come out" (I hate that term so badly) if you're ready. If you are then go for it. A big thing is if you don't feel safe telling people (either physical/verbal harm) then waiting may be good. What it comes down to is if you want to or not.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not planning on coming out any time soon. I'm just talking about everyone else.
This applies to any large school, my school has about 2500 students, and I'm a junior. There's certain imaging to every high school. You have the jocks who want to appear superior to everyone by putting their own insecurities onto everyone else. You have the arts people who are the most accepting because that is where the biggest population of glbt people is. You have the academia who are too focused to care about their school's social issues because they are trying to get into college. You have the pot heads who think that everyone else is extremely foolish...meanwhile they're burning up (stupid). The comments towards the GLBT community will always be present in a high school, no matter how much activism there is opposing it. The majority of high school is just insecurity with attempts to put yourself on top above everyone else...by any means necessary. It's not personal. People fear what is different. I know what your saying up there, I do two sports and I wish I could come out...but I can't because I don't want my reputation nor position ruined. It's not really worth bringing up because...well what can be done? That sounds so cynial but...unfortunately it is what it is.
i used to think my life would of been better off if I was in a bigger school in a bigger town but after hearing about the gay suicides in a twin cities school district it changed my perspective. Yeah i might of found more accepting friends but there would still be homophobes at every corner waiting to bully or harass you. Being gay was not the only problem also had a known disability. I was already dealing with that so that is why I decided to wait until after high school.
Check a handbook or the school's policies on discrimination. If it mentions sexual orientation, gender identity, etc, then it's a worthy cause to bring up, and it will be met, likely. The thing is, the administration will intervene if the education of others is being interfered with. If nothing is mentioned, try bringing it up anyway, and perhaps you could get those written into a discrimination clause. It would be a tough process, I'm sure, and wouldn't be very likely to succeed if you aren't out. Also, I have no clue about any anonymous forum or anything. You could write a letter to your principal and sign it as anonymous, saying how you feel, I suppose... I also don't know how serious this type of letter would be taken by staff, coming from an anonymous student. But, it's worth a shot if you aren't going to come out anytime soon, I would say.
Seems to me like a lot of t his is just not your business. If those other guys want others to know they are bi/gay then they would tell other people. As far as what rumors say...jest rumors. They will take guesses at your sexuality whether your in or out of the closet. Tyler and Gage may or may not be what the rumors say, but think of how you'd feel if people started digging around and talking behind your back just because "I just want to know". You can make comments or do or say things that will let him know you open minded, and maybe he'd be comfortable enough to confide in you, but really he should jsut be left alone. It may not even be something he's sure of himself. And yes, I htink it's worthwhile to put in an anon letter on some of the issues.
There are some guys who are just out to a few friends in their school and they all are sworn to secrecy. You either have to openly gay to everyone or find some people you obviously know are gay or people who will accept you for being gay. I know a kid who I thought was gay for a long time. I messaged him on myspace outing myself and he denied that he was gay. Thank god he was not gonna out me but later on I found out he lied to me and I am not mad at him for it because i can understand it from his perspective. It is better to leave rumors alone because you can get in a lot of trouble for it.
Just adding to the topic... I go to a girl's school and I was sitting with the people I usually sit with at lunch when one of friends just said, 'I'm a lesbian.' We all cracked up laughing because we all already knew but some other people started hearing about it and avoided her like the plague saying 'What if that thing likes me and tries to do it with me.' I'm just like, 'Have you got a problem? It's not all of you have sex with every guy you meet?!' It isn't that bad anymore but there are just about three homophobes that keep on pestering her.
