Hello everyone So it was about a year ago and my friend left school and we were the best of buds, and I sorta did have a crush on him. But when he left school and left me along with no contact I was shattered. I relied on him for my support and he did also, I trusted him so very dearly and he just threw it away because of a reason that I to this day do not know. He was the first person that I came out to and when he left without a trace I just got depressed and realised how much I depended on him. All those feelings left to amplify with time and I'm partly to blame for letting myself loose control of my emotions. That being said he after all this time established contact with me and all these feelings are rising up again... Note- He and I have both been through depression and we probably both have though of suicide. I think i have dealt with my depression well enough I'm just worried for him. He is a wreak i think and i just dont know what to do...
I had something like this happen to me once. Best mate who disappears without a trace. I guess the best advice I could give is that you need to realise that your own mental health is more important than anyone else's, no matter how charming or attractive that artistically broken soul may be. No, you're not. Us humans have a limited capacity for dealing with stress. It's a simple equation. Some of us may have a higher capacity than others, but it's finite for everyone. Once the stress that we're encountering excels our coping mechanisms we break. It can happen to anyone and you're not to blame for it. The trick is to build up your coping mechanisms - and the sweet part is that when you build up these coping mechanisms problems that caused you stress before start to become less stressful because you know that you can deal with them. You're being noble, and that's awesome, and you want to help your friend, but you've got your own problems - we all do. You won't be of any help to anyone, though, if you don't help yourself first. Go ahead, support him all you can - but NEVER do so at your own expense. You're worth it.
