I have read the posts with interest and some of what people have put really do speak to me. Not it is my time to ask what am I? What am I? I have been alone all my life now, that's 30 long years! I am not in the least bit camp, but since the age of sixteen I has been thinking that I have feelings for men but until recently I always dismissed it as jealousy. I have not really been attracted to women no matter how much I try and force my self as that would just be so much easier. From the above it would be obvious that I am gay but then I have the problem of why do I find the thought of gay sex so disgusting, I suppose the only thing I know of is anal, is that all you can do? Until about a year ago, I had just suppressed these feelings until I met someone who had previously had the same issues as me and brought all these feelings back to the surface again, I am almost certain I was attracted to him which is the first time I had such strong irrepressible emotions, but then I kept coming back to the same problem earlier the idea of actual sexual intercourse with a man disgusts me, though maybe not as much as it used to. My parents obviously wonder why I have not met anyone but I have always used my looks as an excuse even to go as far as book my self corrective surgery (Protruding upper jaw) and current wearing braces in preparation for it (I started it over a year ago). That is my other problem I could not face my parents. I feel I cannot explore my sexuality until I tell them but I cannot tell them until I know for sure, what if I am wrong!? I am stuck between a rock and a hard place and I do not wan't to be stuck here any longer! Writing this has brought a tear to my eye, I just do not know what to do, please help me.
Take your time with it, It sounds from what you posted, that you could be gay. I did that a long time, too. I would dismiss liking guys as jealousy, I (super denial) totally thought I turned myself gay from jealousy. Writing down your thoughts here and discussing them will help you figure it out.
Welcome to EC! Thoughts as I come across them. I'll just sum myself up really quick. I'm over six feet tall and over 200 lbs. I speak with a really low voice. I dress in T-shirts and jeans nearly every day. I listen to rock music mainly. I have season tickets to a contact sport. But I dig guys. That means I'm gay. Gay sex is a buffet. (So is straight sex.) It's two people doing whatever the hell they want to do to each other. If you're talking two guys, yeah, that includes anal. But it also includes oral, and manual (stroking each other off), and making out. And it can include any number of "kinks" you want to throw into the mix - bondage, role playing, whatever. And like all buffets, you can sample everything. Or you can just try some of them. Or you can decide you only want one or two things, and stick with those. I won't comment on your looks or upcoming surgery. I'll just say this. "Ugly" guys go on dates. "Ugly" guys get laid. "Ugly" guys get into relationships. Is there a reason for that? I mean, yeah, I told my parents I was gay, but I didn't give them a (ahem) blow-by-blow account of my sexcapades when I first started meeting guys. Just like if you were straight, you probably wouldn't tell them about your sexual encounters with women in detail. Just saying "I've started seeing a guy" would be sufficient, and you can do that afterwards if you so desire. Well, you've been waiting for three decades for the straight feelings to show up. If they haven't done so yet, it ain't for a lack of trying. I'd say it's safe to assume you're probably gay. So why not run with that for a bit, and see what happens? And if something surreal happens, where you start dating/hooking up with guys, and suddenly you feel straight and want to only date women, then you tell people "It seems like now I'm interested in women - I'm as shocked as you are." No biggie. Let us know how else we can help. Lex
Thanks for the advice, I think half the problem is I do not know much about, only on how the media steryotypes things, I should have typed those key words into Google a long time ago. You have given me a lot to think about.
I know what you mean. I’m put off by the idea of anal with either sex, but I started considering myself bi when I realised that my ability to fall in love with someone isn’t depedent on their sex. Maybe it would help if you set aside the physical part and try to imagine what you think you could feel for the guy you met last year. I remember a girl in my class a few years ago once joked that girls give sex to get love, and guys give love to get sex. It was just a joke, but the point to me is that they aren’t the same thing (and by that standard I’d be a girl :icon_wink). Maybe you can try to start a close, non-sexual relationship with someone you’re attracted to, especially if you know they’re gay or bi, and see how it goes.
Its been a while. Just thought I would update. I am certainly attracted to guys romantically, so which is why I changed my status to gay, I now know I would love to spend the rest of my life with the guy of my dreams. I am still not sure about the sex parts but I do imagine myself snuggling up to a guy and embracing him and have done this, it was great but I have not gone any further yet. I certainly have a kink but I don't think many people would also be into it. There is definitely no attraction to women there, either way. Despite 15 years of trying to force myself to be attracted to them, glad that is over!
Good to hear from you again and thanks for the update. If/when you are in a relationship you may find that your desire for physical intimacy grows or wanes. Some people get super adveturous and horny with a regular partner, but some people get 'comfortable' and end up preferring hugs and cuddles to loads of sex. That's not just the case for gay people, it applies to all relationships actually. Stay positive and focus on what you know about yourself now and what you really want.
Congrats !!:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap As you I did try to be straight but it didn't work, after having sex or dating girls I was always wondering how would be to kiss and have sex with another guy and since 14 I pretty much knew I was gay but I didn't want to accept ! I just lived almost my entire life in misery because I knew I was Gay but I didn't want to accept and once you accept that you are not a "freaky" things get better ! I just accept this year that I am gay and I came out to two persons my crush and cooworker and say the words I am GAY was scary but AWESOME at same time. Now I just want to come out to my BEST FRIEND and start to live and be happy. ---------- Post added 20th Nov 2015 at 04:35 PM ---------- As my friend said "At least you didn't start family and lived a lie"
