Okay.. seen this place and like it very much! :smilewave So, let me start. I have a serious confession to do. And I'm a male. College Student. I admit that I have almost zero attraction towards women. Not even one crush on them. All I think of women is they are nice people who like to chat with me. I have crushes on men too - and certain types of men turns me on. Basically I have pretended to be straight before, however, still it didn't work. My friend said that I can change to a heterosexual, but could it be very possible? Is being to like the same type actually a wrong thing to do? But it's beyond my control!! Is being a homosexual a "choice" or something beyond's control? I know, blaming isn't going to help. :roflmao: And I have some little micro thoughts about me is actually a "woman" trapped in a man's body too. Is it possible if I can still continue doing so or just be myself?? I feel very nice with the male group.
I bet nearly everyone here will tell you it isn't a choice, and I agree. I've felt "different" for as long as I can remember, and I never made a decision to be the way I am. As for trying to change your sexuality at this point, I strongly doubt it's possible. You could change your behaviors or pretend to be heterosexual on the outside, but that doesn't get rid of the internal urges. Be who you are, there's nothing "wrong" or "bad" about that.
hey mate. Being gay/bi/straight/ect isn't a choice at all, its how we're born. You can change but I don't know how, plus its crazy! Anyways, hope someone can give better answers than mine. Catch ya round the forum hopefully.
I'm in agreement here, it's really not a choice. Which means you essentially have two options: to accept who you are or live a lie. Personally, I think it's much better to learn to accept who you are, because being who you are is how you're going to be happy. I'm not saying that's necessarily easy, but that's how it is all the same. Most people who've tried to "be straight" or led straight lives or whatever will probably tell you that they haven't been happy living like that. You'll get much more fulfilment by learning to accept what you can't change -- and you've come to the right place to do that. A lot of us have been where you are. By the way, welcome!
Thanks for the advice. It's very encouraging! So do you think me, as partially Bi, could be also in a "sexually confused" state? But I know my "internal urges" - it's mostly, 90% men. I guess I have to be me. I'm pretty sure it ISN'T my choice, or whatever. Could be the genetics, but I hate blaming. Well, I might not know much about it, but I really afraid of the prejudices made towards the homosexual group. These are really scary too. :rolleyes:
Oh man... I can't edit my posts... so what do you think of the prejudices against the homosexual group? As I've said before, these are really scary. And sometimes, I feel that the most people are homophobic. Any thoughts?
Firstly you said you don't find woman attractive but you do find some men attractive. I fail to see the bisexuality in the statement. I think many people like to think of themselves as a bit bi becuase it gives them some hope of the married family with kids idea which we are taught as ideal. Yh homosexuals get bad press but things are changing and i think you would find the majority of people would accept you. You are under no requirement to live a stereotype.
why, unless your a little bit insane, would anyone CHOOSE to live a socially hated, religiously prosecuted, and outcasted life style? if you can explain that one, they being gay is a choice if not, then no, its not a choice and running from it wont help either, your gay, and no matter what you do, your going to be gay, even if you marry a very nice women
Let me start by welcoming you to EC. Homosexuality is not a choice. We are born the way we are and there is nothing we can do about it. There is also nothing wrong with it, and you have no reason to feel bad or ashamed about it. There is no one to blame and no reason to seek out someone, including yourself, to blame. There are some people in society who are not accepting and they try to make us feel bad about ourselves. There were also nazis and klansman who discriminated against Jews, blacks, etc. They are all wrong and just different forms of discrimination. Fortunately, I think people are becoming much more accepting of gay people today and this trend will likely continue. You could try to ignore what you are truly feeling, but I think you will wind up regretting it at some point in your life. You cannot change what you feel. I tried to do exactly that for decades and was very unhappy. I am now in my early 40's and have finally realized I need to accept who I am and feel good about it. I would not recommend to anyone choosing that path. For some of us, it was not easy accepting that we were gay, primarily, I think, because of the pressures and expectations society has placed on us. For others, it has been much easier. You will see both types of people on EC. This is not an easy process, though, so you should not feel in a rush to figure it all out at once. Give it time. Since you are in a university setting, you may find it helpful to see a counselor on campus. Most colleges offer them for free or at no cost. Confidentiality laws for mental health records are VERY strong, so you should not worry about people finding out what you discuss. Most universities also have a campus group for gay students. That too may be helpful. Finally, EC is a great place to start. The advice and experiences you will read about here have been very helpful to me, and I hope they will be to you as well.
I see. A few days ago, one of my coursemates actually 'forced' me to reveal my sexuality. I didn't answer it properly, but he got the slightest idea that I am homosexual. It was god damn embarrassing, as he did 'accepted' it in a very reproachful manner. And some of them heard it, and become very uncomfortable. Even one of my friend threatened to end my friendship once he knew that (there's another story too - I pulled out a worst prank on him at the same time before that and maybe that amplified his discomfort). But anyway I wonder what was all that stigma and also the discomfort? Like I will attack and destroy people? :roflmao: Seriously, I had tried/attempted to be straight, but it was too difficult for me. During the course of this attempt, I ended up looking at guys ALL the time, which I feel extremely comfortable with. Even at one time when watching the show "Deal or No Deal" (that one with the 30 hot ladies) I ended up looking at my fave blogger (he was featured there), pushing aside all the women, sexy or not, nice or not, whatever. I don't know, I felt too good looking at him. Haha... :roflmao: I don't know whether I should be this one -> :bang: or this one instead -> :roflmao: Btw, only some of my very close friends support me. And they can even discuss about it. Anyway, you guys and girls offered me a good support. I feel almost like $hit during the day that some of the coursemates forced me, and that wasn't too good. At one time I tried to deny that (i'm ...homosexual), but ended up forcing my tears back into my throat. (that was yesterday) Agh... is it difficult to really accept that. Hope tomorrow will be a fine day, and also the other tomorrows.
When you engage in any relationship with anyone, whether its a friend, stranger or family member, just keep in mind that your primary concern is YOU. It is your well being and your happiness that are the most sacred things you possess. That said, if anyone tries to give you crap for being gay, ignore them. Initially, coming out can be really uncomfortable, but with each day and another confession the process becomes easier...eventually you will feel like its always been so easy. If any of your friends think its not right, they aren't any friends of yours. Take things one day at a time...things will make sense eventually.
Hmm.. yeah you are right. I should really ignore, and shrug off their discomforts and continue doing what I really want. The only thing now for me is accepting it. Just now I went to see my college counselor and he told me that it is okay, and it wasn't my choice either. And also, he even stated that do not let the lust overtake the body. We had a good chat - and it was much more relieving. And he even told that I have the fantasies of a women. On the types of the men, I really really prefer the one who are cute (dunno how to explain it) and well-built (or partially). Not sure how to elaborate it, but I have this kind of special feeling that I'm secure with the big tough guys, just like the girls. ANyone with these 'preferences'? :roflmao:
