What does it mean to be lesbian or bisexual? What goes on in a lesbian's or bisexual's head? I can't figure out what I am. I know labels aren't for everyone and I know sexuality can be fluid... but I think some kind of label would just help me feel a little less lost and confused. I've never been in a relationship. I've only had flings with a handful of guys. I love making out with guys. I love talking and hanging out with guys. I find some guys to be super attractive (personality- and body-wise) and I love their bodies ... all except for that part between their legs. I guess I haven't minded sleeping with guys, but I want nothing to do with handling their junk (which I've generally managed to avoid, much to the disappointment of the guys). I think most straight girls I know love dick, but I tend to recoil from it. So why do I continue to crush on guys? Like I said, I've only had flings, none of which had any deep emotion. Could I crush on a guy, develop a real emotional attachment (and him to me), and find myself attracted to ALL parts of him? For the past few months, I've considered myself a lesbian (and bisexual before that). I've never been with a girl, but I know I would sleep with a girl (without avoiding her lady parts) or have a relationship with a girl in a heartbeat. I've had crushes on girls my entire life (alongside crushes on guys), but it took me a long time to realize that -- I chalked up my attraction to be "admiration." I've mentioned it to a few friends, but they seem to forget or ignore it, so I don't really have a good outlet here. But I'm sure of all of this, whereas I'm not sure about guys and it's driving me nuts. I feel like it's impossible to meet single people, much less single lesbians or bisexuals where I am. Over the past year, every person I've had a crush on, I learned they had a bf/gf. And I don't have any lgbt friends here...and I've no idea how to even find any or break into an lgbt scene. I'm just sick of being single (for the first time in my life) and I don't know who to pursue. I met a really nice guy in one of my labs, who is very like-minded and I *think* he might be interested in me AND I *think* he's single... but if I pursued a relationship with a guy, what happens when sex comes up? Will I still be wanting something with a girl? I don't even know the first thing about dating or approaching girls. Am I still chasing guys because it's an old habit? I'm not even sure what I'm asking. I just need some kind of help because I'm sick of being confused and single. Bleh!
Hi, and welcome I'm glad that you found this site as it is a very helpful/resourceful site... I don't want to place a label on you merely because how you label yourself is totally up to you. I see that you've experimented with men, but cannot bring yourself to have sexual relations with any of them. It could very well be due to the fact that you're just not ready. However, you also mentioned that you cannot connect with them on an emotional level, which seems to be similar to how I feel. I'm gay, but I've never really been boy crazy; I've had crushes on mainly girls growing up as well as my teacher--I was so in love with her. My feelings towards women grew stronger the more I denied them and now, I'm much more happier being real and true to myself. I think you can know if you like women, whether or not if you've been with one and the same applies for guys too. I think you may be biromantic lesbian or bisexual--with more of a leaning towards women. I said biromantic because you enjoy kissing and cuddling with guys, but you lack interest in sexual intimacy. I'm not sure how old you are, but you don't have to figure everything out right now. These things take time to figure out and that's okay. It took me a very long time to break out in the lesbian scene and there's no better place where I feel like I belong. Try joining a dating site, but make sure your intentions are clear. Or try to find a LGBT community center in your area. If you ever need to talk, I'm here
