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Same ex, different morals?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by orchid, Sep 15, 2012.

  1. orchid

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    New to this forum, i need of some advice...

    My ex got in contact with me at the start of the year. We broke up years ago, so I thought it would be good opportunity to see him and finally clear the air.

    We became quite good friends for a while, and then set me up with one of his friends...which i later find out that's his ex boyfriend from a couple of years back. At first it was weird, but I went out with him on our own and he seemed nice and we continued a date, and eventually we were in a relationship.

    Things have been going well at first....

    We then one time went out with my ex for a few drinks, my ex then starts throwing back handed comments at me. No idea why. So I felt annoyed and thought that maybe it's not a good idea to hang out with my ex anymore.

    A couple of weeks past and me and my boyfriend were invited to a house party by my ex. I reluctantly said yes, but thought my ex was having an off day the last time we met so I was willing to forget about it. However my ex started being horrible again for no reason....

    My new boyfriend lives quite far from where I am, and I had to get him on a train by 10-11ish. While I was talking to a friend, my boyfriend came over and told me he was staying at my ex's instead of my getting the train. I was upset by this and felt this was inappropriate. So i pulled him to one side and told him nicely I wasn't comfortable with it, he didn't seem too bothered by what I was saying which made me feel worse. My boyfriend can't stay over at mine as I live with old fashioned parents lol

    So I went home feeling upset as I've started not to trust my ex again at this point and felt this situation is odd and makes me feel uneasy. I had asked my boyfriend to call when he was waiting for his train home so I could have a chat, which he didn't bother to.

    A week later I stayed at his parents house as they were away. Nothing was mentioned other than him saying "I should of been more supportive to you..". So I left it at that and moved on.

    Last weekend we stayed at friend of mine, then the next day he went to see my ex. Again I was not impressed.

    Now having talking to my friends they have agreed with me that it is inappropriate and disrespectful of him as I have voiced my problem with it.

    My issue is that he can do whatever he likes, but I have to respect his wishes as he doesn't like me to talk to another gay guy. This may seem petty and insecure of me, but my ex is not a nice person and it was stupid of my to let him back in my life. The only reason why I told him I have a problem with him seeing my (well our lol) ex is because I don't believe in secrets and would prefer to talk about anything thats bothering either of us. We don't sleep together, and he has told me he is not into sex. I'm not so sure...

    So I'm sat here feeling trapped and feeling like it's time to move on and end the relationship.

    Any advice is greatly appreciated.
     
  2. Lance

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    It doesn't really sound like a completely healthy relationship. And it's definitely disrespectful of him to be spending time with your guys' ex when it clearly makes you uncomfortable. First of all there is trust issues, which to me if there is no trust, then there isn't much left to the relationship. Second of all, how is he able to do what he wants and you can't do much of anything? That's not right. Personally I wouldn't be interested in having a "relationship" like that.
     
  3. Pret Allez

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    I say that you dump him. Basically, you've voiced how you feel like he doesn't have time for you and that he spends too much time with his ex, and he doesn't care. That means he's dishonorable.