So it has been a while since I have posted. So I have been friends with this guy for now a year, and suddenly, he wants to hang out more, go out to eat more, he wants me to come over and cook for me. All this came on suddenly. Now, I like him and he is gay, so in that sense it is okay. But I have yet to figure out if he likes me or if he is just wanting to be better friends and I am afraid to ask and ruin the friendship if I am wrong. Like I had said, he is suddenly wanting to spend more time with me and cook for me and things. In addition, in every conversation we have had, relationships always come up. Both of us end up saying we have no one we are looking at. But then he always goes off describing who he would like. Every time, it sounds like he is describing me. He gives me a lot of compliments, which just started as of this semester. Now, I know to a degree, I am probably imagining the fact that he is describing me, but every time we are talking about it, he gives more and more details and every time it sounds more and more like me. So the questions is, am I imagining it? Are there key things I should be looking for that would be key indicators he likes me? Or is he already showing signs of interest?
Tricky situation. If you are attracted to him then it is quite likely you are hearing it in a way you would like. But at the same time, he is displaying behaviour which says he's interested in you. To find out more I have to ask, what is he like to other men he knows are gay? Have you heard/seen him display this behaviour to anyone else? Is he shy? If he doesn't generally act like this, I'd say he's into you and maybe just trying to gauge whether or not you feel the same way. He may even want you to make the first move. If you're unsure, I would probably just reciprocate some of the behaviour to see how he acts on the recieving end. That way you can both strengthen the friendship and also get a better idea of whether or not he's interested. If he reacts positively, up the stakes and slowly engage in behaviour that shows that you're interested (if you are, of course). You could also just ask him. But since you're here asking for advice I assume you don't want to take that route (I don't blame you, it can be intimidating )
Well, he will hug other gay guys, but not many. With me, he will almost out right tackle hug me, but while still being gentle if he catches me by chance. And when we actually meet up on purpose, it is a full embrace hug. This isn't his most typical behavior to do so. He isn't shy socially really. But when it comes to more intimate situations (relationships and such), he is a bit more shy (as much as I hate to describe it this way, he would come across as more sub-dominant "bottom" personality. I hate describing it that way but I don't know how else to describe it.) He really doesn't generally act like this. We started as friends through a friend. Then our friendship took on its own. It was just as of starting this semester, he seems even more willing to be together. It might also be worth mentioning that last year, he had his first boyfriend ( whereas earlier he had dated girls) and that ended horribly. So his spring semester was spent recovering. I honestly just don't know. I know I hope it is him showing signs of interest, but I don't want to read the signals wrong.
If I were you, I would take the chance. You'll never know otherwise. If his last relationship experience was bad that would perhaps explain any hesitance in initiating a relationship with you. Obviously he'll be doing his best not to get hurt again. My best advice would be to take things slowly with him, don't invest too much too early at this point. It's good that you're being somewhat cautious in this situation. However, I'm not sure how well it will progress if neither of you make a move. You may just be left in an awkward limbo until one of you gives up or gives in. Give it some more time and then make a decision (to pursue or move on) if he does not initiate in this period. Meanwhile, get to know him even better. Find out if he is actively looking for a relationship, what his future plans are etc. It can be highly beneficial that things are moving slowly as you may discover a flaw or incompatibility between you before anything serious happens (which will save you from heartbreak); or alternatively you'll find that you were made for each other. Good luck
