A counselor told me this recently and in thinking about my life I have realized how completely true this is. My mom is a major hoarder. When I was young we just wouldn't talk about it. Not amongst each other, and god forbid anyone ever wanted to come over. I hate talking on the phone. When my parents would fight my brother and I would hide in our room huddled together. When I got older and things I couldn't handle were going on at home I would run away. Just run out of the house and down the street. As I got even older I would move. My parents evenutally got divorced and I moved to my dad's house to get away from the mess. I lived with my aunt for half a year in fifth grade. My dad got sicker and my mom moved in again and once he was in a nursing home I moved again to my aunt's house because my mom destroyed that house too. When my aunt found out I was gay she was pissed and I couldn't live with her so I lived with my sister for like two weeks. I am involved in so many activities that I never have time to think and if I do have time to think I usually try not to. When I do think I get so overwhelmed that I cry uncontrollably, but during things that make normal people cry like the passion of the christ I just don't.... I try not to think about all of the people I have lost. I try not to think about how much better my life would be if they were still here and some other people weren't. I try not to think about the fact that my mom got my dad's house taken away and everything from the time I was 11 to 14 is gone. Just gone. Photo albums, things of my late father's. I try not to think about my nieces leukemia. I try not to think about the fact that I feel hated. I don't do things with my girlfriend because I don't want to think about being gay. I really wish I could go to talk to someone who really knows what they are talking about but my mom doesn't want to pay for it. The only person I can go to is my school counselor. I need meds. I feel so messed up right now. There is so much going on.
You might be able to get the school counselor to convince your mom to get you a therapist. If someone has problems that they are not qualified to handle, and it sounds like you do, they are supposed to make sure you get help.
Whoa now, what makes you think you need meds? In my completely non-professional opinion, it just sounds like avoidance is the coping method you learned and have stuck with all these years because well, it's what you "know" how to do. Obviously the opposite of that would be to face you fears head on, and while that's a terrifying thought, I don't think it's necessarily something you need meds for. Though someone with a more medical background might be able to correct me on that one. And if I'm even minimally right about what I thought up there, then I think talking with your school counsellor is still a good idea. Sure, it might not be exactly what you need and it might be lacking in some areas, but I don't think it's necessarily going to do more harm than good. If you are avoidant as a way to cope with things, then talking about them - facing them - with someone is probably a small step in the right direction.
What BudderMC said - I used to avoid all sort of unpleasant topics/conflict and would just try to sweep it under the rug. I started to change how I handle things after almost losing a very good friend, and while I'm not perfect at facing my fears/tackling my problems head on, I am getting to that place. I haven't gone to a counsellor about this (mostly because I couldn't afford one) and have just done it on my own, but that doesn't always work for everyone. I'm also going to echo the sentiments of you don't necessarily need medication - I would suggest going to see a counselor and talking about anything you don't want to face before considering medication. Maybe go to your school counselor and see if they can suggest someone for you to go see who either has a reduced rate or works for a community agency that anyone can access for free Hope this helps, hugs.
