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indecisive person cant decide.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Danny19, Sep 16, 2012.

  1. Danny19

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    Hey guys. sooo im about to be 20 next week and like every other person living with parents, i want to move out. Maybe next year, i have yet to find a job... it is harder than i thought :bang:..

    anyways, ever since i came out to friends i have been a lot closer to my girl friends than my guy friends. i lost touch with most ever since i graduated high school. I pretty much only had one real straight guy friend left. He is my neighbor but we have been friends since i was like 9. Now, a little over a month ago i met this really cool guy online, N. We had the mutual interest of, um some unmentionables :icon_wink So we met and we have been kicking it ever since then. I love my girl friends, but i do miss the company of a guy and i dont just mean as in a bf, but also just a friend. Its a different environment and its awesome. He moved here from a city a few hours away because he is going to the university i go to. So he moved into a place close to school with some people. None are students but him. He liked it at first, but he said they are starting to get annoying for various reason i agree with lol. He told me today that he wants to move out already, but he isnt really gonna look for another place. He said "If i meet someone that wants to move then ill be down for that". He knows i want to move out, so that felt like a hint to me. I was gonna ask if he would be down to move with me, but then i remembered the main reason im posting on here... One of my best friends, B, wanted to move out together, and i agreed and i still want to. Then there is another of my close friends, L, that wants to move out too. they both know each other so i figured we could all move in together, 1 straight girl, 1 lesbian, 1 gay guy. But now That N is in the picture i kinda want to move with him. I think it would be cooler to move in with another guy, and he is great and i think he knows im good too haha.

    ok so now the question is what do i do? when the time comes, should i move in with B &/or L, or with N. ?

    I guess maybe i know already that i should do the right thing and move in with my closest friends than this guy i just met. but then whats wrong with just wanting to be around another guy, than more girls. I have lived with my mom and sister for a long time. Im kinda over it haha. but anyways i guess i need some advice on this.

    sorry for going a bit off topic and for anything else lol.
     
  2. just me personally i wouldnt ever move in with someone i just met be it just a friend or a gf.
    why? cuz i just me the person and i dont know them that well, even though i might 'think' i know them inside out.

    if i ever did though if things didnt work out between us living together then i would be back to square one again living back with my parents because i wouldnt just randomly be like 'oh hi things didnt work out can i move in with you guys now?'. it would seem a bit pointless to me moving out with a totally new person to if it didnt work out, being back at square one.

    i would play it safe and move in with my friends ive known for ages, so i know we would get on and be okay. then after a year or two then i might consider moving in with my new friend or even all of us living together. thats just me though.

    you can do whatever you think is right though.
     
  3. Chip

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    I think it's much better to move in with the friend you've known for a long time than your new male gay friend.

    Three reasons:

    One, as others have already suggested, going with the known quantity is a better choice, especially when you're moving out on your own for the first time.

    Two, it sounds like you already made a commitment to your other friend to move out and share a place with her. I am a very strong believer in honoring commitments you've made, because I think personal integrity is extremely important.

    And three, it sounds like you like this guy, and there could be the possibility that something could develop with him. If that's the case, the last thing you want is to be moving in together with someone you've just met. It can work, but usually the strain of a new relationship AND living together is a difficult one that most relationships cannot survive. And being able to nurture and develop the friendship first, whether it stays a friendship or evolves, is more likely to happen if each of you have space from each other while developing the friendship.
     
  4. Danny19

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    thanks for the responses guys

    yea i guess that i already knew the answer to that.. Ill just move in with my closest friends...

    oh by the way, this guy isnt gay. So there wouldnt be anything but a friendship developing.