I think I'm "picky"... :|

You can't help who you're naturally attracted or allured to. It doesn't make your shallow, that's just your type. Attraction to certain attributes is a characteristic most animals have too. I'm not going to lie and say I don't have a type, because I do.

Don't worry about it or feel down about it, it's perfectly normal and you deserve to be with someone that's right for you.

 

You have every right to have a preference because I do. Although, I have found myself looking at girls who aren't exactly my ”type.” I would prefer someone who resembles me and who is the same size as me. I watch what I eat and I exercise, so I would prefer the same for the girl I'm dating. So, there's nothing wrong with you wanting someone to look a certain way. Unless, you're picky like, the guy from the movie, Shallow Hal

If anything, you must have confidence!! It's sexy

 

Yes I'm not slim myself, sometimes I wonder why anybody would pick someone like me, but no you are not that's your preference, if someone likes you like that they must think you are really beautiful and could care less who you are.

 

You can be as picky (or not-picky) as you'd like. If you decide you're only attracted to, or interested in, left-handed Eskimos with seven-figure incomes and a degree in psychology, that's totally your call. That said:

1. Make sure you align your mind to the available pool. If it's very shallow, you may be going some time between partners, and you may have to resign yourself to that.

2. Be polite and nice to those who approach you who don't meet your internal criteria. It's best if you don't give them specifics ("I only date skinny people"), and stick with "You seem nice, but I just don't feel any sparks with you".

3. No fair getting upset at others for doing the same thing. If you find that perfect rich left-handed Eskimo, and it ends up that s/he is only interested in (say) older people, you can hardly accuse him/her of being "shallow" for not giving you a chance...since you're doing roughly the same thing to other people.

Lex

 

As others have said, you can't force yourself to be into someone you're not attracted to. I will say that I've met many guys and girls who are slim themselves but attracted to a totally different body type, so I don't think it's a question of not being "good enough" for someone with that figure. Everyone's attracted to different things.

That being said, I think the one thing that's absolutely worth being picky about is whether the person's right for you. I'm sure you don't need to hear this, but an attractive person who treats you poorly is not worth your time.

 

hey dont worry if you like the way you look and your healthy then the can go:***: themself ive always been small and use to get bulled about that till i learned small doesnt mean i cant kick your :***: lol i still have people that are your to skinny im 5,6 and i weigh 115 but once you accept yourself then you can truelly love someone for more then size and everyone has there prefrance so good luck to you im rooting for ya

 

I have a very definite type too. Like Lexington mentioned, the only real effect it has had on dating is a long wait period between each relationship, which actually isn't all that bad.

It is hard sometimes dealing with insecurities (I know that sometimes I feel I'm attracted to people too attractive for me) but in reality you never know how they percieve you. We have a habit of projecting what we think people are thinking about us onto them and most of the time it isn't true.

 

You aren't a bad person for being naturally inclined toward a certain type...

BUT, a lot of the time, people just think they have a certain type, only to find out later on that it is really not what they wanted.

You see, as time goes on, you may focus more on the mental state (as opposed to the physical state) of the type of people you are attracted to. I used to think I was attracted to athletic guys, but honestly, I dated a lot that weren't so great. I subsequently dated guys of other "types", and found that hey, just because I was attracted to them, they didn't meet the standards for what I needed in a relationship. So now I look more at what someone can offer me, and what I can offer them, in a serious relationship.

But anyways, all of this supposes you want something serious in the first place. It really depends what you are looking for.

 

Don't worry. Like everyone else has said, you have your own type. I like guys who have more of a cute look to them than anything else. That doesn't mean I'm shallow. It just means that I'm attracted more to those types of people, but if I were to meet a really someone else who I really like that doesn't have that look, I don't think I'd mind. And I completely agree with ezkill that you'll focus more on what someone can offer as time goes on.

 

I can relate as well. I'd date people who I didn't exactly find the best looking only to eventually break up with them because I felt like they weren't for me.
Eventually I kept my eyes out for only people that satisfied my preference, and I did feel bad when a nice person asked me out but I didn't like them because they weren't my physical type.
But it eventually does come down to who you end up meeting. You might find the perfect soul mate, and although they might not look exactly how you wanted them to, you might just accept that.
Being always skinny-ish, I felt like I expected the same.
And I always did feel "if I'm this picky, they're probably picky too and I probably have no chance. They won't like me."
Just be yourself and go with what you prefer. You may change your mind, but don't put yourself down. We have preferences but there's no ideal person.
Everyone is different.

 

No, I think a lot of people have desires to be with people who have better bodies than our own. That's fine, but in some cases not really realistic. When being picky, you need to consider whether you'd want to be excluded by someone else's similar pickiness.

 

Everyone has a type or preference. I don't see it as being picky. You have to date this person so u wanna make sure this person is everything u want. Although they say opposite attracts that's not always true. I don't call it picky. Look at it this way, you know what u want n u don't wanna settle for less. As long as ur not looking for a perfect super model type because no one is perfect we all have flaws.. Good luck!

 

I know what you mean!! I'm so picky about who I like. Everyone says its all about personality, but me oh hell naw that gotta look nice and act nice!