A couple months ago I was outed at work, which at the time made me feel like my world was going to end. Not long after that happened I went to the field for a month and realized my life was able to carry on as usual, a lot of my friends still intact. Granted, things don't feel exactly as they used to be but i'm back to the point where i can joke around and don't feel god awfully uncomfortable all the time. Anyway, i've recently got caught up with a guy I work with.. I haven't known him long, partly because he just checked into our unit when we got back from our field op. I see him every single day though. Nothing happened between us until this past labor day weekend. I'm not sure of my feelings on him, partly because anytime we hang out and things start to happen, he's constantly telling me "I don't do this", or he's not gay, yet somehow things always transpire and he does the exact opposite I really never wanted to get involved with someone in my unit, in fact, I still don't. I enjoy his company, but I really don't want to deal with the headache of someone who looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, but calls them self a parrot.
Hi there! Even though you see him everyday, maybe part of the solution could be to hang out less with him, and to keep your interaction with him to a professional/work related level. From what you have said, there is a possibility that he is unsure of his sexuality, and that he has perhaps feelings and can't come to terms with them. That said, you don't want have your own feelings for him develop to the point were you will have a hard time of simply taking a step back from it. You have mentioned a couple of reasons why it would be a good idea not to get involved. Go with them.
So, what? Does a sudden gust of wind blow both of your clothes off, and blow you into each other's arms? If you don't want to do sexual things with somebody who is so far in the closet that he's not even out to himself, just say so. "Sorry - I've decided I'm only going to have sex with gays and other bisexuals from here on out." Either he starts the process, or you stop having sex with him - his choice. Lex
Honestly I really like the attention I get from him and it's nice not feeling so lonely anymore.. like I said, I enjoy his company.. so maybe i'm in deeper than I originally thought :/ It's really hard to hang out less with him.. his room is two doors down from mine, and he doesn't have a car yet so anytime I go out he usually wants to tag along and I feel bad saying no... It's been like that since before we even hooked up. I'm not sure how to really step back when we already hang out all the time, including seeing him at work 90% of my day.. Come to think of it I really don't think he hangs out with anyone else other than another corpsman he checked in with. ---------- Post added 17th Sep 2012 at 02:25 PM ---------- Haha, actually funny story about that...:lol: We've done everything except for sex, which is fine with me.. I like anything and everything in between heh. And sometimes he's tells me he doesn't do things and I can't tell if he's serious or not.. because when push comes to shove his actions don't mirror his words. Without getting graphic, we just start out PG and after 10 minutes or so of that he lets me do more, etc etc. And sorry if I flip flop.. I wrote my post this morning after being on duty for 24 hours and kind of annoyed at the thought of him and now I can't wait to hang out with him tonight:icon_redf
I'd just make sure you know where your head's at. (The bigger one on your shoulders.) If you've decided the physical stuff is worth the "I'm not really gay" stuff, then fine - enjoy playing around with your "straight" friend. But if it really DOES make you unhappy, I'd make steps to make sure things don't happen. Lex
Hey man, I tottally understand your problem. In fact I understand your problem so much I even understand your job what it's like to have issues at work because I have the exact same issue at work. I'd live to PM you to give to talk about this because I have alot of personal experience with this same situation but I'm not a full member so I don't have access to that kind of capability
That's difficult, but I think that you should go with your gut. If he's gay or bisexual, he's not ready to accept it yet. People like that are extremely draining to those of us who have accepted ourselves. It is not your sworn duty to help him sort himself out.
