So... hello Need a tiny bit of advice =S So far I've been able to tell people about my homosexuality that I've met online - plus one good friend, via skype. Thing is, the next good friend I need to tell has been friends with me for many years, and it'd feel wrong to tell her online. I've tried to tell her several times, but I never know what to say or how to bring it up in conversation... So... I was hoping someone on EC might be able to help? I feel ready to tell her, I've just no idea: - How to tell her I need to chat with her alone in a private place without raising suspicion - How to bring it up in conversation, again without raising too much suspicion... That first bullet point sounded dodgy... but I think I'm making sense... Any help is appreciated ^_^ And thanks in advance (*hug*)
How did you bring it up online? I can tell you how I told one of my best friends, about a year ago (still an undergraduate at the time). I had always had it as a goal in my mind, but the event itself (as to WHEN I'd say it) wasn't planned. I basically went into his room, sat down on the bed, and sort of looked him into the eye, saying "I need to be completely honest with you. This is very hard for me to say, and I don't know how you'll take it. I hope it doesn't change our friendship, because I am still the same person. I am gay". I went straight for it. I didn't try to weasel the topic in, because the topic was too important to me to make it a side dish. It's not wrong if you decide to squeeze it in as a side topic, but my preference was to be direct. If you're worried about bringing up suspicion or being obvious, then maybe it's better that you don't necessarily plan the exact time to tell her. Wait for a moment where she is calm, and alone. Sit down where she is, and tell her. It takes a bit of skill (or maybe not) to determine the right moment. Try to get her alone in a natural way. Don't sequester her from friends or anything like that. Just hang out one on one or something.
Thanks, ezkill, that's helped me quite a bit And you're right, maybe I was trying to plan it a bit =S I appreciate the help ^_^
I shall do Just a quick question... how do you beat nerves? How do you... actually force yourself to get the words out? I've not told anyone face-to-face as of yet, I'm pretty scared =S
You could rehearse the possible scenarios, but this might actually make your nerves worse. Sometimes, for some people, the best thing is to just do it, but of course in an appropriate place and time. You are either ready or you aren't. The nerves don't go away for everyone, but that doesn't mean you aren't necessarily ready. It's like being nervous before presenting stuff in front of a classroom full of people -- being nervous doesn't mean you can't or won't do it. I was nervous up until the moment I just flat out said it. I just went right for it, and said "whatever happens, happens". After that moment a year ago, it's easier for me to come out now. It sounds like you might be dead set on coming out, so the only other step to take is to just do it. I hope this helps.
