So I know this one guy who is bi. We've been hanging out for a few weeks now and I am starting to become emotionally attracted to him.The problem is he is a conservative member of parliament and refuses to ever come out. We've had sex a few times though, although it's been just meaningless sex between two friends. He says he's not looking for a gay relationship. I told him that I think he should come out and that everything would be fine if he did. I'm afraid to tell him how I really feel about him because I don't want to scare him off and not talk to me anymore. Should I just move on and ignore these feelings or tell him how I really feel?
Hi I don't know the situation and the people involved well enough, but here's the universal truth: Talking about things makes them much easier for you. Although, you should be careful. I'd suggest to try and get him into a deep conversation, and once you feel that you can, try to hint that you like him. Maybe you'd like to talk to him before, and see what he really means. Anyway, if you confess to him, he will probably stop pretending (if he does). I think it's always better to talk, because otherwise you are hanging around with him, having feelings for him, and it created a messed up friendship and situation in my opinion. But hey - you should really think of all the possibilities. No matter what, I wish you that everything goes really smoothly, and that you will gain a loving relationship from this
Welcome to EC! It certainly doesn't sound like he views you as anything but a fuck buddy. Which would be fine if you weren't interested in something more. But all signs point to him only interested in you as a friend and an occasional (downlow) hook-up. If you're cool with that, and seriously don't expect anything more, then there's no problem continuing on as you have. But if you're harboring hopes that he'll come out so you can have a truly romantic relationship...that's really not likely, I'm afraid. You're of course welcome to tell him how you feel. But it would appear those feelings aren't returned. He might simply accept this news and want to continue on as you have been, or perhaps he'll want to withdraw somewhat. Lex
Oh man, it seems like you are really stuck here! You can't push him to come out or push him to have a relationship with you that he doesn't want, but you also can't ignore your own heart. I'd say you have to attempt to balance the risk on your own end. Is being more than just a FB important enough to you to risk never speaking with him again? Would you be able to crush your feelings for this man enough to be ok with JUST being a FB? I had a friend in college I felt this way about. She wanted sex. I wanted more. When I told her how I felt, she smiled and "let me down gently," but our friendship was never the same. After a couple of months, we never spoke again. SO, that having been said, all of my opinion on your situation could be colored by my one bad experience so take my opinion with a grain of salt (or five or six grains.) Lol. Who knows? For you, it could be the start of a great relationship. Either way, good luck.
It sounds like you have different levels of investment in the relationship. You want him to be out and dating you. He wants a sexual relationship while being on the down low. These are not compatible, and in my opinion, it's unfair to you.
