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One of those sad moments.. :(

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Bird66, Sep 17, 2012.

  1. Bird66

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    Hello EC!

    Just wanted to make a topic because I am feeling very sad at the moment. Just having one of those moments where I am really feeling sad about being gay. Main cause: I met a beautiful girl some time ago, and we went out last weekend as well, together with some friends. We had a great time, just having fun talking, dancing etc. She just send me a message on FB about how nice it was that evening. And although I can feel there is definitely a connection, I just CAN'T do it because I am gay! And then on moments like these, I am in deep pain and crying and I wish it wasn't that difficult, this whole something that I didn't decide to be. I've had these kind of moments for so long already... Hate to have said no to the most beautiful girls just because I am this way. Feeling like I have so much love to give but since I'm still just out to myself and a bunch of people.... I am nowhere where I need to be yet. I know things will get better once I am fully out but it is just very hard now.

    Need to say though, I have been feeling better and better about myself (finally) and I have accepted myself totally (ehh, stil trying). But, I still have my sad moments now and then - it is just a bumpy road. I know I can't change myself, but then I am still sad now and then. Thinking of all of the last years that have made it so difficult because of my sexuality. What do you guys do when situations like this happen?

    Thank you for reading :kiss:
     
  2. silverhalo

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    When I feel sad, I come and talk to people on EC because they all understand and make me feel better.
    Try and think of this as short term sadness for in the end long term happiness, rather than saying yes to the girl which would be short term relief but longterm sadness.

    Have a couple of (*hug*)(*hug*)s. It will get better.
     
  3. Mlpguy88

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    (*hug*) I'm sorry, I wish I had the answer
     
  4. Clown

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    Well, are you attracted to her only physically? Or is it mentally, emotionally, or a combination?
    I'm asking because although you may be sure that you're gay, if you're forcing yourself to limit yourself only to men, there's still that voice in your mind that may be interested in women too.
    Being gay isn't black or white, there can be a million shades in between.
    And there's nothing wrong with any shade.
    It's just important to identify yourself and not keep it in.
     
  5. Bird66

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    Silverhalo (*hug*) Thank you so much. You are right, I think the same way.

    Mlpguy88 (*hug*) Thanks :slight_smile: We will get through this!

    Clown, you are very right on this. But in this case (and almost all cases with girls), just emotionally. Although she's certainly attractive, I have no urge at all to kiss her or anything else - that's how I know I am not into her that way.
     
  6. pinklov3ly

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    I agree ^ :thumbsup:

    It's okay, if you find yourself attracted to her, and yes, I've been where you are many times before. It's usually a temporary feeling that eventually passes. But, please don't box yourself in, I'm gay; however, I can still hang with guys and think they're cool, but I'm always honest about being gay. I'd hate to lead someone on and then see them get hurt.
     
  7. Bird66

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    Hi pinklov3ly! What do you mean with 'don't box yourself in being gay', but then still be honest about being gay? Isn't that the same thing? :slight_smile:
     
  8. TheEdend

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    What people mean by that is to keep your mind open. We have a lot of people here who are clearly attracted to someone of the opposite gender, but don't want to go for it because they don't want to go through the whole what is my sexuality?" thing again.

    This doesn't sound like your case though (let me know if I'm wrong), so don't worry.

    The whole thing gets easier to handle once you are fully out, though. Because at that point you don't have this thought of "If I wasn't gay, I could be with her" thought anymore. Instead you have this "this is a cool person to hang out with and I don't have to worry about leading her on because she knows im gay"

    It is a bumpy road, but it seems like you are in the right path! And for whatever is worth, you always have EC for those bad days :slight_smile: