Hi, I wasn't sure if making a new thread was appropriate and I apologise if a similar one was started. I hadn't noticed one. Right, I just need a bit of advise and this forum seemed the best source because I don't really like talking to my friends about my sexuality.* When I was 18, I was literally "dragged out the closet" by a few of my classmates. I was in a relationship with a guy I met in one of my drama classes outside of school. One of my friends read my text messages that I exchanged with my boyfriend at the time, and told everyone about me being gay. In a way I suppose it helped me come out. However, the problem I seem to be have is* 1.) Whenever people who know I am gay, although are very accepting always ask me about my sexuality and ask what sort of guys I like. I don't know why, but I don't feel comfortable discussing what sort of guys I find attractive, or who my celeb crushes are. I suppose that hints at me not being completely accepting myself, I think. Problem 2.) I am now 20 (two years down the line) and still feel the same way. I always thought when I go to university it would be different. I felt meeting new people would make it easier to come out as gay. I know it's not always important to come out if I feel it would be unsafe but I can't help but feel like I can't be who I want to be, as I'm afraid of what others will think of me, or how they'll react. I haven't even considered telling any family members. I have subtly brought up the topic when the opportunity arises. Like when we are watching TV (when a gay character appears or something) to see how they feel about homosexuality. But I want to take baby steps anyway. I do not really know where I start. Some of my friends know, others don't, and there's some people who I didn't want to know who now know, because of what happened in college.* Apologies for the lengthy post, but I was wondering if anyone had any input. Or if they faced similar scenarios? I'm probably not making any sense at all. :')*
Welcome to EC! If you don't like talking about the types of guys you're interested in, simply don't tell them. There's nothing wrong with saying "I feel weird talking about what kind of guys I think are hot. It just makes me uncomfortable." You might jokingly add "If it makes you feel better, you're not one of them." And if you still don't feel comfortable saying that you're gay, just don't. Either keep approaching them obliquely as you have been, or don't tell them at all. You're under no obligation to tell people your sexuality. Lex
Aww! Thank you! I was hoping for that sort of answer to be honest. I mean I do intend to come out but I don't feel like I'm ready. The main reason why I feel this way is because I'm 20 and haven't seemed to find the courage to come out to friends and family. But I suppose there's not a specific age you should come out. Thanks again for you post. I will be sure to use that line, should another situation like the above mentioned arise. :') ^.^
