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Friend request a perfect stranger on facebook because she caught my eye

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Chels, Sep 18, 2012.

  1. Chels

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    Hello, so sorry I haven't posted in a while, but I'll do my best to catch up.

    Actually I had a question. So first things first, I'm not really good at meeting people or at being the one who actually starts a conversation but lately on a facebook page I found a girl that is actually pretty funny and interesting, problem is though, I have no idea If she's straight or not, so I thought that maybe cheking her page I would have found something out.
    So i tried, but it is obviously private, so I found myself stalling. Now I know that lately asking random people friendship on facebook just to meet them is not so weird anymore I guess, so I was wondering if I should ask her the friendship to get to know her,but I really wouldn't know what to do after that or with what excuse i should actually friend request her.
    So I don't know, any suggestions? The only thing I know is that we kinda listen to the same music and we both like tattoos but that's it. And if I find out that she's straight, and with my luck she probably is, what am I supposed to do? I mean, I'd pretty much feel like an idiot.
    Basically I'm just sitting here wondering, and maybe this is a really stupid question, but I've never been the one to take the first step so for me it's a big deal, and I'm basically getting paranoid over nothing.

    But thanks to anyone who's kind enough to bare with me and give me an answer.
     
  2. aj32

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    I don't think it would hurt anything to friend request her. I mean if she accepts you can get to know her better and then take it from there.
     
  3. Chels

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    I just find it extremely awkward to add someone that you don't know for no reason, so that's the point. I basically have no excuse to get to know her, so why would I ask her? For what reason?
    I'm probably overthinking but still, I don't know if I should and what I should actually do if I do.
     
  4. silverhalo

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    How did you come across her picture?
     
  5. Mirko

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    Hi there! I do think your are over thinking this and getting paranoid over something, where there is nothing to get paranoid about. :slight_smile:

    If you find it really awkward of adding people to your facebook page, and have no excuse to get to know her, why are you giving it so much attention? There is no reason to.

    Even though you have mentioned that you are having difficulties meeting other people and feel uncomfortable starting conversations there is a way around both 'issues.' The way around it, and to make it a bit easier on yourself would be to join an activity that you like at school or in your community, thus already building a common ground with others to start a conversation with. Also, I'd suggest try finding a support or social group where you will have the chance to meet other LGBTs, with whom you might find some commonality and strike up a conversation. Being part of a group or an activity will also increase the chances that someone will notice you and start a conversation with you. :slight_smile:
     
  6. Chels

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    Maybe I didn't really made myself clear. I'm not looking for new friendships by adding random people, she caught my eye, she seems interesting and I would like to know If I can have a chance with her, because for what I've seen she's pretty interesting.

    I'm giving it attention because I wanna know her, that's the point, but I still have to figure out if it's a good idea or not. It has nothing to do with meeting people at groups or stuff like that, I could be' interested in her. Hope I explained it better :slight_smile:

    And I haven't found her picture, she's just on a facebook page that I use and check almost dayly too, but I've never really had the chance to talk to her directly, so I can't say I know her or that we've actually spoken.
     
  7. Mirko

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    Ah okay. :slight_smile:

    Well, could you not send her a message, introducing yourself and letting her know why are you contacting her, before sending a friend's request? You have one entry point, and that being the page that you are both on. You could also talk about the tattoos and the same music interests. If she replies great, if not, that's okay too.