Hi all. I met my girlfriend during my first year old High School and we have now been together for 4years. Long story short it's been a great relationship filled with many ups and many downs - just like a regular relationship I guess. My girlfriend is straight and I am a lesbian. We have a great relationship I love her and she loves me, thing's are great sexually - we have sex on a daily basis, emotionally we are fantastic we are similar we have heaps of common interests we always make each other laugh feel good etc. etc. everything is regular and great. From time to time I do worry about not being 100% satisfying for her and I do get insecurities about her finding a man someday. She has expressed the desire for a long term future, i.e. marriage, kids, etc. I am also worried about hearing that 'lesbians dating straight girls never work out' blah blah and that does get me worried. I want to know - can a relationship with a straight girl really work out? I joke around saying she has the best of both worlds as I am a 'masculine' lesbian and I am also sensitive, romantic, emotional, etc. so I say she gets the protection and toughness of a man and the passion and sensitivity of a woman. I repeat - thing's are great both in and out of the bedroom! All I want to know is can a lesbian and a straight girl really make it? I apologize for the long story - I do appreciate any feedback. BTW this is my first girlfriend and her first girlfriend, she has had a few boyfriends in the past. Please refrain from saying "you should be living your life and exploring other women" I do not believe in having numerous sexual partners let alone numerous emotional partners, I do not want to date other woman, I do not want to explore - this thread is not about that it is about insecurities regarding how long can a hetro/homo relationship last. Thank you all!(!):smilewave:icon_bigg:lol: ---------- Post added 20th Sep 2012 at 02:42 AM ---------- It should also be mentioned that her family does not know of our relationship - as there are some homophobic members however our close friends and my family know of the relationship. I am conpletely fine with it as I do not have time to waste on family troubles and I respect her wishes. I am aware that some can say "she doesn't see the commitment if she isn't telling people" not the case at all we just dont want to deal with pricks. Guys have asked her out, asked her for sexual favors etc and she has declined. Everything is sunshine and all I am asking for is wether you beleive these types of relationships can work - she is straight she doesn't think any other woman is sexually pleasing people do find our relationship weird but i tell them "I guess she loves me for me and not for my genitals". I am dealing with insecurities now - as I read a bunch of threads on other sites about how this kind of relationship wont work etc. Just wanna know your opinion thanks again guys n gals
It sounds like you have an amazing relationship, and a great partner! This field, dating, sexuality, love, is not anything exact. Still I wonder, why does she say she is straight? IDK, maybe you are an exception. I think you should talk between you - as her once and for all - is she satisfied? How does she feel about you being straight whereas you are gay? Tell her that you love her, but that she should speak freely to you. She sounds great! She will probably tell you what she thinks. Good luck
Hi! Hot damn, do I want to talk with you more!! I am in exactly the same situation, except I am the straight one. Let me say once I and my girlfriend are much older, then let's let that sad reality drop. First, I want to say yes, it can work. Yes, your girl probably does mean exactly what she says, she is in love with you but can't imagine wanting to be with another woman. I have to guess she calls herself straight because for 99.9% of the population, she is. I have only been with one woman, my current girlfriend, and she is the only woman I want to be with, the only one with whom I have a connection that is worth all the stress and juggling and hassles of the life we lead--her out, me in, both of us protecting the secrets I feel I need to keep in order to have her in my world without the rest of my life exploding in a shit storm of family drama. I have dated a lot of men, been married, had a child...and yet, apparently my soul mate was born in a girl body this time around. I didn't see that coming, but there it is. Maybe your girl feels the same way--her love for you doesn't match up to any of the plans she had for herself, and yet to turn away from you would be unthinkable. Do talk to her about her dreams and goals for her life. Take her seriously. If she wants kids someday, really talk about all the options for how you can make that come true for her. Think outside the box to begin with, toss even the insane ideas out there (She marries a man who is okay with your relationship, and all of you co-parent together) Sometimes just talking about every possible permutation of how things might be will clarify the one that actually appeals to you both. Most of all, don't despair. I have to say that,:icon_bigg for my own sake, as well as yours. I believe it can work. Don't let what people say make you lose faith in your straight girl. We don't always go back to our heterosexual ways. We don't always chicken out and run. When it's true love, we can hold on just as fiercely as any lesbian could have. Please feel free to post a note to my wall anytime, I'd seriously love to chat with you some more!
Well all I can say is that if she's been in a relationship with you for 4 years, she's not "straight." As much as she may want to identify as so, she's not. I understand that some straight girls are "questioning," but you don't question your sexuality during a 4-year relationship. Maybe she doesn't want a gay/bi label, but straight is definitely not accurate.
Hi again, I'm sure you are correct in that most people don't question their sexuality under those circumstances, and for that length of time. But from my own experience, it seems as though at least one person does. If there is only one person of the same gender who you would want to be physically intimate with, and every other person of your same gender you would not...If losing that one single individual meant you would go back to exclusive involvement with the opposite sex....I'm not great at math but the ratio would seem to be about 99.999999% straight and .000001 gay/bisexual. Does that tiny fraction really throw the whole of your personality into the gay/bisexual category? Somehow, that doesn't ring true for me. Perhaps it is just the comfort I find in denial, but (after all that sad math) I'm not 100% convinced. Sometimes this business with trying to find the correct label to define what a person is based on who they love, or are intimate with, is pretty confusing. For me, anyway.
I find this situation to be unusual, but if it's working, it's working. I don't really know how to argue with the facts. You've been together for four years. That sounds like things are working out to me. Remember, a lot of relationships with the "correct" orientation individuals still fall apart by this time. Nothing can be guaranteed, but I don't see any warning signs.
Hey I totally get both sides of the arguement here, my first thoughts when reading the post were 'she isnt straight', the fact of the matter is a straight girl couldnt have a totally fulfilling relationship with another girl because sexually you would be incompatible. I do however also agree Pinktractors views that if you have only ever been attracted to 1 same sex person then straight is more true than gay or bi (this is why labels are rubbish). So I think the relationship can work provided that the 'straight person' is in love with the other person on a romantic, emotional and sexual level. Which it sounds like your girlfriend is. I think labels are kind of a personal thing, for me I think if I was going out with her I would want her not to label herself straight as I feel like it would make me feel as though she was denying our relationship or something (and dont get me wrong it sounds like your girlfriend is totally committed), I think my insecuries would work overtime on that, so I commend you in accepting how she labels herself.
