My ex broke up with me a month ago, afte seven years together; we stopped living together yesterday. She basically told me she wanted to date men, she wants to get married and have kids with a man and says she needs to start looking for that. This girl has always been my everything, we were best friends and i know everyone says that, but i guess you could say our relationship was unhealthy. We were always together, had all the same friends we really had no seperate life, and for some reason it didnt bother me. just being with her always made me happy. After we broke up it may have taken her a week or two, she was already coming home with hickies and had been out with guys. I guess i always knew she liked guys more. Im the only girl she was ever with, so why am i so shocked? I dont understand how she let go so quick, it feels like I meant nothing to her. Shes always in a good mood and looking at the brighter side of this break up, and im all kinds of depressed. Wishing she wanted ne back, saying she was lesbian. Dhe says we will still be friends and talk, which makes me happy but i cant move on like that i cant stand to see her with someone else. She says she wants me to be happy and find some one that it will make her happy to know i found someone that makes me happy. Does it mean i didnt really love her if i cant be happy for her? Happy shes making these decisions for herself? I dont know where to start my life back at again. I wasnt ready to lose her.
Ouch! I am so sorry. Just my thoughts...No, you can't expect yourself to feel happy for her. Totally unrealistic on either of your parts. You can intellectually acknowledge that since you love her, you want her to be happy and you will respect her choice, but don't forget to acknowledge the part where you have a right to be hurt and sad about it. I don't think she "just got over it". I think she probably turned the idea around in her head so many times, for so long, before you knew about it that she had more time to get used to idea and come to grips with it. I mean no disrespect to her, I don't know her and may be totally wrong. But I suspect she is further ahead in the process for a reason. Hang in there. Break-ups are the worst. Don't deny yourself the freedom to feel what you feel, ok?:icon_sad:
Hey thats really tough. Its true that she has had time to get used to the idea. I also wouldnt just brush over the fact that she is over you already, people react differently in situations and coming back with hickies from different guys and hooking up with people immediately could just be her way of coping with it, I know that doesnt make it any easier for you. Time is a great healer but a slow one, you'll get there, everyone on EC is here for you.
Awe, I'm so sorry (*hug*) I can't imagine how you must feel, especially after all these years of being together. I think it's totally disrespectful for her to be coming home with passion marks all over her neck. It seems like she never cared for you based on her behavior, but I'm quite sure that she does. I think some people move on quickly in order to get over someone easier/faster. But, she's oblivious to the fact that it's making you feel pretty terrible. I think you should talk to her about it, but if her behavior doesn't change then maybe you should move out. I'm not sure where you live, and I know that the economy isn't the best, so I can understand if you cannot move out on your own just yet. I'm still not over the girl I was dating, and it seems like she was able to let go easier than I was able to. It still kind of hurts, but I'm learning to move on. Do you have anyone you can stay with until you are able to get on your feet? I know that it's easier said than done, but things aren't going to get any easier if you continue to live together. Hang in there, this too shall pass (*hug*)
Wow, thanks everyone. We both moved out yesterday, and she knew it hurt me to see them, she would try and hide them. Theres parts of her that seem like she cares but then the other parts are as if it meant nothing. We have such a huge past together, at times we where all each other had. So i know at some point shell realize im not there waiting for her. Shes always been a tough person just because of her life experiences. I helped her pack all of her things before i moved out, we both still worried about the others finances, but i wasnt the one going out because i was upset. So id be home when she got there for her to talk to or do something for. I really think she assumes im not going anywhere. Of course in emergencys or a loss of some sort but not for her daily meltdowns and troubles. I know she had the time to deal with it, she let me know that. She was very honest with me, it wasnt a hateful break up but definitley a painful one. It's worse too, she works in a bar that sh's bpeen at maybe two months and people just swoon over her, it isnt a nice bar but it isnt to bad, it makes me worry about her. Damn her!
