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Any chance that this was all in my head?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Catkin, Sep 19, 2012.

  1. Catkin

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    I just started back at my home university after an exchange year abroad. While I was away I almost entirely checked out other girls, but that feels really weird here. It felt almost ok being curious about other girls when noone else knew me, but I don't want to even look at girls here. Could I have just gone through a weird phase while I was away that's over now (and I was really straight all along), or is it more likely that I'm just feeling uncomfortable because things feel more real here and my friends could notice if I was staring at girls?
     
  2. pinklov3ly

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    Breathe in and out and relax; how long have you been home from studying aboard? What you're feeling is probably just anxiety about being home and well, you're still questioning. It's almost like, you're starting all over again because you're in a different environment. Who do you find yourself imagining kissing, girls or guys? Does the idea of kissing either gender turn you on or off?

    Have you thought about coming out? You don't have to label yourself, if anything, take the time to figure out how you truly feel and embrace those feelings :slight_smile:
     
  3. Catkin

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    I've been home for a month, but this is my first week back at university.
    I've never really fantasised about kissing guys (even though I did definitely used to like guys). I don't often think about kissing girls, but the last day I went out with my friends and felt sort of bubbly and happy when a girl asked me to dance with her. The idea of kissing guys seems a tiny bit repulsive sometimes. Which doesn't make sense because I only used to like guys. That can't have just disappeared can it?
    I have thought a lot recently about maybe coming out. All the friends I live with are accepting (two of them are gay actually). At the same time, I'm kind of wary about coming out to one of them as questioning. It seems really scary, and a stupid move when I'm still not sure, because I don't think anyone would believe me if I said I was straight afterwards. I'm also not in the best place mentally over all this. The idea that I might like girls still makes me really uncomfortable (and a bit defensive). I don't know if I want my friends, especially the two (gay) guys, knowing that I feel like that.