There's a guy I'm friends with who doesn't go to my school; we keep in touch through text and online. We only recently got into talking more, which was great while it lasted, but now his parents have banned his going online other than for schoolwork until June-ish. Thing is, almost every day I get a message from him saying "I miss you." I ask him how he is, and he responds that he isn't feeling so good because he misses me. I mention something I've done in school and he'll respond, and then give me a e-hug because he misses me. He doesn't seem able to get past that, and since we're rarely available at the same time we can't chat like we used to, having fun and deepening our friendship. This is more of an issue considering that he has no close friends at his school, so I and one or two other people he texts are the entirety of his social interaction. Last weekend we didn't talk much at all, and I got messages online from two other people who he had told to tell me that he misses me. It makes me uncomfortable, because although yes I do miss a lot the hours we used to spend chatting lightly and I long for them back, it isn't to that extent. I also worry that he may be idealising me and the conversations we've had, which could contribute to his feelings of loss and won't help in the future. I recognise that he is lonely, but how can I help him move past the "I miss you" and grieving that there are people he doesn't see as much now, and on to "Let's make the best of it and talk like we used to for the little times we can"?
Did he seem overly dependent or excessively affectionate when he was able to chat with you more freely online, or is it only since these recent restrictions happened? If it's the latter, he could maybe just be worried that you'll drift apart as friends while you have less contact, so he's overdoing it a bit in an effort to make sure you stay on his radar. You could try reassuring him by saying something along the lines of "Look, I miss our chats too, but I'm not going anywhere, so let's drop the mushy stuff and get on with being friends, deal?" However, if it's the former scenario, that presents a bigger problem because the clinginess is more of a personality issue than merely being due to recent circumstances.
He would always be complimenting me, which made me feel a little uncomfortable, but he did that to all of his friends so I went with it. He'd say he missed me even when it was just overnight, though after that we'd go on to chatting like normal. Last night we were both around at the same time and were able to get past the "missing you" thing for a few minutes before I had to go to bed, so maybe it's just that he starts all conversations that way and the issue is that we can't generally continue them. It was great to chat with him again like normal. Thanks for giving me an idea of something to say. If he's around today and can't move past that again, then I will try and say something like that; it's phrased well so it shouldn't offend him, and doesn't imply that I don't like him or something.
