Hi, everyone, after coming out to therapists, my mom, and my cousin. I'm planning to tell everyone I'm bisexual. Here's the issue. I need to get past my fear of rejection. I'm one of the more well-known kids at my high school. Most kids there are okay with gay people but a lot (not most, but far too many) guys hate gays. Some of them being my self-proclaimed "friends." I want to tell everyone but I can't get past my damn fear. They'll probably not physically hurt me, but I don't want to get taunted or them to shout insults across the room, or anything like that. It's not that I value the haters. It's just the hate that seems overwhelming. Please help. :help:
Hi there! First off, congratulation on your coming out thus far! It is quite normal to feel anxiety and the fear of being rejected by your friends (and others), knowing that there are some who might not be as accepting. One thing you could do is to come out to one friend at a time. When you think about your circle of friends, is there one friend that you could come out, for example, in the next few days? Who would it be? Given that some of your friends are not okay with homosexuality, or might say something against it, I wouldn't come out to them just yet. Build up your support network first, which will give you motivation but also courage to face those who might not be as accepting. Also, does your school have a Gay Straight Alliance or a LGBT support group/safe space at school? Being part of a support group could help you to overcome some of your fears in knowing that you can always draw on their support. Coming out is not a race. You can take your time, and come out to those who you really want to know first.
I know what you are going through 100% when I was in high school (last year) I graduated early but I was also popular and I guess some people knew already but most people didn't know and still don't, my fear of not being excepted held me back and still has held me back to this day, I joined this page today and it's made me so happy to see that I am not ye only person going through this, the first post I did today was the first time I have ever, ever refered to myself as "gay". And It felt good to atleast have it in writing and publicly and not buried inside me. But you are already braver then I ever was and I applaud you for that, and find a friend maybe the one you've been friends with for a long time who you really trust and tell them, I am actually getting ready to tell one of my friends soon when she replies this will be the first person I have ever told. And I know about lots of what you are saying like about the homophobic guys, I used to go to the smoke Pitt and all these guys who acted all tough and mean who I was friends with I'm pretty sure were hiding something. I remember when this guy who was soooo homophobic had taken some sort of laced drug and he was showing his true self and grabbed another guy and just made out with him. And this guy was always a bit gay, I could tell lol but ya no be braver then me and tell one of your closest friends, and those who don't except you they were never your friend and were bound to not beyond friend for long because real friends are there no matter WHAT. Good luck
I am having the exact same problem! I need to start taking this advice, too, but... Well, let's just say I agree with what Mirko said. Just make sure you don't rush things, okay!
I never came out at school I was to nervous I wasn't nervous about being gay but about what people would think of me how they would talk and make fun of me. I JUST DON'T GET IT why does it matter what your sexuality is? I dont get it like ugh people are crazy! But ya I'm the same age as you 17 I graduated early thankfully but high school is hard and the people are mean, I made friends with popular and tough people no one really had a clue I was gay I mean some people did but some people thought I was just really innocent haha but if you need some advice let me know ok @tails luver
Don't come out just for the sake of coming out-- come out to one person/a few people at a time, and only when it feels right to do it. No need to make a huge announcement... just wait until it feels right/natural to bring it up, and then do so.
i want to to but i need the courage to tell my parents first so they don't find out from someone at school i have told a couple friends but my parents are strong Christians and i'm only 14 so i have no idea what i would do if they don't except it
I went through the same thing too, well I did come out willingly to one of my best friends but it was because she asked. If someone close to you asks and you feel comfortable with it to the point where you can just say it without the "guilt" that came when I told her then go for it, but don't feel like you have to. Everyone has their own time and place you just need to find yours.
