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How to beat loneliness? O_o

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Bradders, Sep 21, 2012.

  1. Bradders

    Bradders Guest

    I've been feeling rather down today,
    and with nowhere else to rant I felt I may as well see what the EC community thinks...

    Essentially I'm yet to come out to my real life friends... which is annoying.... but this leaves me feeling lonely, with no support - as nobody will know about it. Also, I don't know any other gay/bi people (in real life) which makes me feel like... I'll be forever alone, with nobody to love me and it feels awful... =S Even more so that we're now starting to study relationships in psychology at school ... =(

    Sorry for using up valuable thread space, but I just needed to express my thoughts a bit...

    Does anyone know how to... well... how to stop loneliness, when there's no-one around to support you? =S

    Help is appreciated <3
     
  2. musikk021

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    Hey, I know how you feel. I'm pretty much in the same situation, except that I do know a lot of gay people at my school (but only one is my friend for real). He's gone studying abroad this year so I don't even have him anymore. I had friends freshman year of college but because I was so scared to come out to them (and for other reasons and insecurities), I pushed them all away to avoid dealing with it all. Now I'm a junior in college with no friends.

    I also think that I'll end up lonely and alone with nobody to love me, too. This is a constant worry of mine. But people will always tell us that we just have to wait and see, and somebody will come into our lives! We just have to believe in that, I guess, and have some faith that maybe it'll all turn out okay.

    In terms of stopping the loneliness, I don't have any good advice. I'm really lonely myself. I just go to class, do homework, and watch tv alone. That's why I come on here. This is the only place I can express myself openly. Otherwise, I'd say just hang out with the friends you do have (even if it's hard being around them and not being out). At least have some company. It's better than being alone.
     
  3. Hsj22

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    Try joining a Gay/Straight Alliance club at your school. At my school, we have a couple different LGBT support clubs but I have yet to go to a meeting. Maybe that might help with the loneliness because they'd be really supportive and it's a great way to make new friends.
     
  4. Retrospect

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    Same here. The loneliness can be unbearable. At least try to be around your friends. It really does help.

    I also am terrified of being alone forever. Sometimes I really feel like that's where I'm headed. I only have a handful of close friends, and most of them plan on moving at some point. Plus, my family is growing distant from me. But if you just stay optimistic, you'll get somewhere, eventually. Try to enjoy life; you get out of it what you put into it. (*hug*)

    I really should take my own advice.
     
    #4 Retrospect, Sep 21, 2012
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2012
  5. Mirko

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    Hi there! No worries about creating the thread. This is what EC is for! (*hug*)

    As it was mentioned above, going to a LGBT support group could help you in feeling less lonely as it would give you a chance to get to know others and also allow you to become open about yourself.

    One thing that has always helped me in getting out of the feeling of being lonely is to immerse myself in something I like doing, such as reading, or going to places where there are lots of people, be it in coffee shops or a park. Getting together with friends is of course always the best option.

    And perhaps for yourself, you could use your feelings of being lonely as a motivation to come out to one or two friends. Have you given it some thought as to how you would feel about coming out to your friends?
     
  6. CupidBoy

    CupidBoy Guest

    You're only 17, you have a lot of time to grow into yourself. This forum should be a great way to make other gay friends, don't be sad, you have your whole life ahead of you.
     
  7. Rose

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    ---------- Post added 22nd Sep 2012 at 02:09 AM ----------

    [/COLOR]Hey Bradders,

    Loneliness can be horrible in my experience. I understand what you describe also- not being out to your loved ones, and having no gay friends. Can you take comfort in telling yourself that it does not need to always be like this? The feeling you have is temporary and in time you will be able to take action to change your situation. Also, can you look at this time of loneliness as a time of growth? Almost like you are resting and waiting to gather the strength and courage to come out and free yourself from the pain of loneliness.

    Be kind to yourself and trust that you will not be stuck here forever. And keep posting as your posts will help others to feel less alone. By posting you are making healthy connections and that will feed your soul positively.

    Best,

    Rose
     
  8. Bradders

    Bradders Guest

    Thanks, everyone, for the help ^_^ (*hug*)


    I'm pretty sure we don't have one of them... which sucks.... :frowning2:

    I've tried thinking about that, and I really wanna tell my best friend, but I'm unsure as to how to do it =S But to be honest, she's my only real life friend, I'm quite the social recluse, as my Mum would say xD

    Thanks to you all <3
     
    #8 Bradders, Sep 22, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 22, 2012
  9. MichaelB

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    He's from England; we don't tend to have things like that over here unfortuantly.. I mean, in all my educational establishments that I've attended, I've never seen one. :icon_sad:

    But to the OP: I can relate, sort of. I would advise to come out to atleast one close friend, it helped me to voice what I was feeling out loud and get a response from someone.

    Remember that 17 is still young. It seems like it might never happen, but you have a lot of years left. Just try and enjoy your situation and good things will come along. :slight_smile:
     
  10. DryOasis

    DryOasis Guest

    I can relate to you a lot. I also think you should try join some LGBT groups near you. Also, evaluate what your likes are, it may be music, sport, or deep stuff like philosophy and try find like minded people in real life and even online. You may find other lgbt people who share the same interests.
     
  11. burg

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    philosophy helps me if i need a mental escape,or talk shit with people.