I feel like a hypocrite. I'm not sure what to do. I've been in a happy relationship with my bf for 3 years. We live together. My mom pays my bills while I'm trying to get a business going, my bf finished his thesis recently and is trying to get some tutoring jobs. We got together in college. My parents do not know about my relationship, that I'm gay, and that I can't get this business to support us so far. I'm at a point right now that I can either move to a city closer to my parents (I live a few hours away, I always visit them, they never come here) and come out and have a chance at getting this business to work (there is A LOT more demand). Or I can try to make things work in this town. To move to this closer city, there is no way I would be able to not come out to my parents (long story why) and while that's happening I wouldn't have money to get established in a new city. My parents are vehemently against homosexuality and one of them is a minister, who won't be changing perspectives any time soon. I'm agonizing over the current reality that it seems no matter how hard I try to get a job and/or get this business to support me completely ( I got close, but lost clients), I can't get it to work fast enough. My bf is trying to, but we just got in an argument because he wants to enjoy his weekend and I'm overcome with worry right now. I was a jerk to him and now I feel awful about that too. I don't know how to come out to my parents without a job or someway to support ourselves, and yet I feel in turmoil that they are supporting me and my big secrets. I don't know. I wish I could be financially free from them. Anyway, not sure why I decided to say all this but if you have a magic job to fix everything let me know lol. It's nice to vent I suppose.
First, Welcome to EC ^-^. Anyway, so I'm guessing you are trying to decide whether to have more financial oppertunites or not have to come out to your parents. I think you should probably move and come out to them. I would recommend that you save up before and at least try to get a few weeks in there before you have to tell them as you said. It will ultimately benefit you and your boyfriend all around if you have more financial oppertunites. If you do not get yourself off the ground, you could find yourself having to live under your parents dime and in the closet for years.
Hi, and welcome to EC! I know this is an lgbt support community and not a business advice forum... but if it isn't too personal, it would help to know what kind of business, and the differences in the two cities/markets as there might be some outside-common-thinking ways of building your business in the existing market. If you're close, there may be a few things you can do to help push you over the top, or find some related thing you could do to further build revenue and support you as you continue developing the main business. So that would be (to me) the first step. If, after that, it's clear that the business isn't viable in the current geographic market, then it's a tough call. While I'm sure that your parents would probably cut you off financially and/or do other things in an attempt to gain control over you, I'm a lot less certain that they won't eventually come around and accept you and your boyfriend. I know that may sound inconceivable, but my experience is that, with few exceptions, even ministers from conservative churches eventually come to accept their gay children. But first things first... look at all of your options and see what might be there that you haven't considered, and then look at the idea of moving back to your home town.
Well. I now have 2 months for us to support ourselves completley financially or we will be forced apart...either by coming out, or my parents not knowing and me having to move back in with them. I talked to the bf. We're going to work as hard as we can the next few weeks to get enough jobs to pay for minimum needs. I hope this works. I absolutely hate being gay. I hate it. Not for any other reason than that life has to be so much more complicated. I feel like my family is a trap. I want them all to die. Right now, I hate them. I've never felt hate for my family. But tonight, it's a sick feeling and I hate that feeling too. I hate being chained to them until their dead and they can't control me anymore. I'd rather be living off the street then ever see any of them again. If they knew how twisted I feel about them, I think they would regret their stupid "beliefs". I hope god is gay and makes them burn in hell. My mother had no problem knowing I was molested for years and not doing anything to help me. She had no problem knowing my brothers were too by a homeless person she brought in the house. Of course I had to turn out gay. Figures. I'm the only person with passion and ambition and drive and hope but I have to be given the death sentence that is being gay and with a stupid worthless family. I've never felt this way in my whole life about my family. Wow.
Well I don't hate them now. lol Not because anything has changed though. I think I just need to get that off my chest. We've decided to move. My bf has a grandma that's might help us. If not, then we won't be able to move. I have a consulting business you could say...I'm getting it so that I can make appointments with people online and I'm not limited to the geographical area. I hope it works. I guess it will have to work eventually lol.
