1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I can't get over her

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Tycho, Sep 21, 2012.

  1. Tycho

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2012
    Messages:
    140
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    ak
    Gender:
    Male
    I dated a girl for a long time, and while we were never "official" I felt something strong. Anyway, she broke things off to return to her off and on again ex, and I don't think she realized how much it hurt me. That and when she's having problems with her ex/gf who does she return her attention back to? me of course -.-

    Anyway, I'm having trouble moving on. Her actions always reignite my feelings for her even though I don't think theres much hope that we'll ever be together. She also thinks I'm fine just being friends and acts like we never dated until she has her days/weeks where she is all over me again. She thinks she did nothing wrong.

    I got to the point where part of me is glad we'll never be together (she's obviously trouble) while the other part is hopelessly attached to her. It's leaving me in a mess of emotions where I feel resentment for her and also sadness.

    The thing is, I'm stuck being 'around' her a lot. She takes a few of my classes at uni and even wants to be in mine when we re-enrole for future semesters. She also invites me out (even sometimes when her gf/ex is there, who I must add is super possesive and makes me feel inadequate) and expects me to come. Lately I haven't as I know it will just hurt me.

    I do want to be friends, but it's really hard right now. I feel like my current actions are pushing her away as a friend yet I can't help it as being close just makes me want her more.

    Any tips/help?
     
  2. silverhalo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    10,698
    Likes Received:
    3,722
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey moving on can be tough. Sometimes it helps people to go through a period of not seeing their ex in order for them to move on, which I appreciate is a little tricky when she is your classes but you could try not to hang out or socialise with her.
    I think the first thing you need to do is communicate with her, you need to say to her when she is in her all over you phase, that that is not acceptable and that you are happy to be friends but it cant go any further just when she feels like it. Then see what happens and if she still keeps trying it then perhaps you will have to put more distance between you and her to help yourself move on.