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Ok now i'm pissed off

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by kholdstare90, Jan 30, 2008.

  1. kholdstare90

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    My parents and I have never really gotten along because my younger brother is the favorite in the family and i'm gay.

    However they have literally only ever promised me one thing which is to pay for any and all education. 2 days ago I showed in interest in a professional TESOL diploma course (Teaching English to Students of Other Languages) which I am fully qualified for. They basically said they want no part of it and that i'm too stupid to even be considered.

    It's not the fact they flat out rejected me (i'm used to that) but because the one thing they promised me they went back on.

    Is this like normal for parents or are mine just weird?
     
  2. Nicvcer

    Nicvcer Guest

    That would make me way angry...
     
  3. Miaplacidus

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    Well - that is not an issue with me as my parents won't pay for anything.... because they can't. I guess that they'd pay for my career choices if they could, but if I wanted to go to a LGBT-related presentation, course or the like I highly doubt they'd pay for it.

    And yes, it's normal for parents here to pay only for what they want their children to study.

    Thankfully university is (mostly) free here, otherwise I couldn't go.
     
  4. CrimsonThunder

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    I don't know if its normal for parents... Parents usually say stuff they don't mean though. Just give it time to see what really happens.
     
  5. Louise

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    Hey don't dump us all in the same boat!!! There are many of us parents out there who want our children to be happy and will support them in many choices that maybe are not ours.

    I think it is horrendously unfair of your parents to treat you like this. Not only are they going back on their word they are spoiling your chances in life and being very cruel to you psychologically.

    In your place I would look into what sort of grants you can get and see if you can't move out and show your parents how wrong they were.

    No one deserves to be treated as your parents are treating you (*hug*)

    Having said that we are not all like that. :kiss:
     
  6. Bromptonrocks

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    I agree with Louise. We're not all the same!!!

    I think it's awful what your parents have done and it brings back memories of my childhood when my parents would say "No" to my requests and never give a reason. How frustrating. I vowed then never to be the same with my kids.

    As Louise as said, make a stand and show them how wrong and unreasonable they're being. If you can vote with your feet, do so. You're at an age now where they should show you more respect and not treat you as a child. Let us know what happens.
     
  7. kholdstare90

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    I asked a question with one of the options of mine being weird. Clearly mine are weird.

    It's not unusual for my parents to fuck me over like this but it is the only thing they have promised. Also my parents said they will pay for anything else, they said yes to me doing a beauty course.

    Making a stand would do shit all because it's not how my family works, they make a decision and thats final.

    Plus everything my brother and sister want (both younger) they get. My dad even said they would pay for him through uni (no government help, just pay the whole thing(around $25000+) and they won't pay $200-$1000 for me.
     
  8. beckyg

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    Do you have any trusted family members who you can talk to about this? Maybe a grandparent that would be willing to help you out?

    As Louise suggested, you should look into grants and scholarships also.
     
  9. kholdstare90

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    Grandparents are all dead. Plus grants and scholarships don't exist for this course.
     
  10. Louise

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    Ok, you seem pretty angry about this... and rightfully so I might add, but there are solutions. 200-1000$ is not an enormous sum (if you are talking about the whole course and not per month of course). Could you not find a job, washing dishes, serving in fast food, anything really which would finance your studies.

    I know it is not ideal to have to work and study but lots of people do. If you really want this thing badly enough I'm sure there is a way.

    If I were in your shoes I would find any way possible to do the course, succeed even if I killed myself doing it and then shove it in their faces as I walked out of the door and out of their lives taking my diploma with me!

    Ooops sorry got a bit carried away there. I am the first one to advocate loving and respecting your parents, but love and respect have to be earned both by the parent and the child. You parents are your parents and gave you life so there is some filial duty and emotional bond but if they really do treat you as you say you are not bound by any duty or law to love your parents, they might just be very shitty people. There are loads of nasty people out there and some of them must be parents.

    I'm sorry your parents treat you so badly, you don't deserve it you know. You are worth more than that, now go out and prove it to them!