I was told in a letter, by "Brent" who is 16, he was tired of not being able to be himself and that he was gay, not to say anything to his mom and that he had left his mom a letter telling her he was gay. He decided not to come home after school to give his mom time to digest that he was gay,(which he told me but not his mom) mom was/is heartbroken and angry on top of him not being home. Mom is not a gay friendly person. He finally came home and they have not spoken of the subject. He also doesn't want to talk w/ me either only fb messaging. We are close and he knows my love for him is unconditional. I just would like to "talk"....to him. I know he is hurting and confused.. afraid to talk with his mom.....What do I do????wait for him?...lbvs..which is hard thing for me to do...:help:
Hi there, and welcome to EC! You have come to the right place. Knowing that he is hurting and confused, I would definitely encourage you to keep talking to him and send him messages of support and reassurance to him via facebook. Reassure him that he can talk to you whenever he needs to, and that you are ready to listen and help. Knowing that you support him and are there for him, will be very important, even though it might not seem like it. You don't mention where you are located, but is there a local LGBT support group in your area such as PFLAG? If there is, I would suggest that you contact them, and try to get information. While Brent mom's is upset and will need time to come around to it, and once you have the educational literature, I would suggest that you let Brent know that you have information for his mom, and that he should try giving it to her, or just leave it for her to read whenever she wants or feels ready to. If you feel that Brent is ready to join a LGBT youth support group or at least go to a meeting, it might be worthwhile to point him in that direction as well. And of course, you are also more than welcome to point him to Empty Closets, where he could also get some support and 'talk' with others who have been in similar situations. Often times, exchanging experiences can be empowering for LGBT youth and others. Hope this helps.
Thanks Mirko.....I was reading some other posts,a guy RX, his status states 75% gay.:help:...that 25% is unsure? Brent is age 15... "came out in mess/letter...trying to understand what he is thinking...as he hasn'/won't talk w mother or me since. I need to understand his thought process..if this rx who is 18 is still confused how can a 15 yo be certain...is it okay for me to ask, well whether it is or isn't(LBVS) i am going to ask him. I kno I prob don't make sense......I am confused and my mind is going crazy, not w/ anger but w/ concern. if he is gay it is what it is and love him as always.:tears: just would like some insight....in his mind right now....:tears: FYI~A little back ground on how I feel about gay/lesbians. I have never really disliked people who are, I did feel it was wrong....now...i do believe..?...or can understand being "born" that way. so on that note... I dont have the ability to private message..and would like to privately talk w/ a male...could one of the moderators contact me? Please!!!
Hey im not a male or a moderator but I cant reassure you that someone will im sure contact you, just so you know you can private message the moderators just not the other members. I can understand your concern, but I want to say thank you to you for being there to help Brent though this really difficult time, he obviously trusted you enough to tell you even though it was through a message. When I came out to my parents it was through a message (not on fb but a message), coming out to my parents was really difficult even though deep down I knew they would probably be ok about it so its common not to want to talk face to face. I agree with Mirko just keep sending him messages telling him if he wants to talk you are there. For the moment just stick with his preferred method of communication, just offer him unconditional support and then in his own time he will be able to talk to you. As for him being sure, some people just know straight away and others get more confused about it, its because sexuality is not just black and white, if you imagine a sliding scale at one end is gay, at the other is straight and in the dead centre is bisexual, some people are 100% gay, other 100% straight, some people like guys and girls equally and others fall somewhere inbetween straight and bi, and some between gay and bi and that is often what leads to the confusion. If you imagine straight people, most of them are always sure they are straight, so it can be the same for a gay person. EC is an amazing place, you will definitely find the help and support you need here.
