I am almost positive that I identify as bisexual due to my attraction to both women and men. I am currently in a hetero relationship of about 6 months with my boyfriend, but have never told him about my attraction to women. Bear in mind that he is the sweetest, kindest significant other ever. Every time I consider telling him, something inside of me finds a reason not to. I think to myself "nah, you're not bisexual, no need to complicate things!" or "he doesn't need to know" or "he'll think about me differently". I am a very introverted person, and I'm not exactly an open book (INFP, if anyone cares about MBTI here). It's very hard for me to share this sort of thing with people. Basically any time I commit to being bisexual, I get confused and scared that I'm going to make some irreversible choice that people will judge me on, but I still end up being attracted to girls and watching lesbian porn anyway. I don't really even know exactly what I feel toward women, I just know....it's something. This affects me sometimes. My boyfriend is always showering me with affection but I've been sort of uncomfortable lately about it. I think maybe it's because I haven't been perfectly honest? I want to tell him I'm bisexual, I don't want to break up with him to experiment or something, because he is the nicest most caring person I've had in my life, but sometimes I do question our relationship. ALSO, he found out two years ago that his roommate/best friend was gay and in love with him, but he had to move out because things got way out of hand (said roommate threatened to commit suicide). So...I'm scared to tell him I'm bisexual, since I'm worried he'll think I want to leave him or something. Sorry for such a looooooong post. Any advice, anyone. What should I do?
I think you should tell him. I totally understand your fears and not wanting to commit its really common when people plan to come out. Its almost a fear of it becoming real, I mean you can accept it in your head and you can admit it on a website or forum like this because if you wanted to you could disappear from the forum, or in your own mind hide it, so noone would be any the wiser, but when you go to tell a person in real life it becomes real and something you cant take back. I think you just have to tell him in a way that is like, im telling you this because I value our relationship and I dont want to have any secrets but it doesnt change our relationship. Honesty is always the best policy. If you dont tell him now, it will only get harder and the longer you leave it the more he is going to think there is a reason you hid it. You could always just drop it casually in conversation, so a celebrity that you think is hot just say 'hmmm dont you think ........ is hot, or beautiful or something.
