So this weekend I went to a two day rave called Nocturnal Wonderland. It was really awesome. Except for the fact I went with people who think I am heterosexual. I didn't get back from the desert until this morning and I feel so low I almost want to give up. There were tons of gay couples there and I have ******(but I'm too afraid to respond to people). I got a bunch of messages from hot guys. I was so sad after the first day, that I decided to drop some ecstasy. I had a lot of fun on it last night, but I think it depleted my serotonin, because I've been crying and felt really sad, all day long. I don't know what to do with my life. I've been thinking about dropping out of college and moving in with my family in Mexico. I feel like I need to do something drastically different with my life.
What is *****? Why would you drop out of college? There's no reason to be sad, if you really want a relationship that badly, don't tell your friends you're straight. And ecstasy won't help. Seriously. Why would you even do that?
What you're feeling is probably a combination of not going in a positive direction in general, and a post-Ecstasy depression in combination. And, as you seem to have realized, Ecstasy is a very short-term solution to depression; it kicks the can further down the road, only when you come down, you're way worse off than you were before you took it in the first place. Fortunately, the depression (from the Ecstasy) should wear off in a few days, so you just have to hold on until then. So I think the issue is to pay attention to what matters. Look at where you want to go in life, focus on goals. Using any sort of hookup application isn't going to find you love, only sex. Real love comes from a combination of common interests, mutual respect, and a strong emotional connection to the other person. And... before you can really love anyone else, you have to be able to love yourself, which is hard when you're fighting depression. The first step is talking about what you're feeling, which you're doing. The next steps are , as I said above, reflecting on where you are and where you want to go. And for God's sake, please don't take Ecstasy again, no matter how low you feel. There are much better solutions. I hope you'll continue talking about these feelings because that's what's going to help you move through and feel better about yourself.
i don't know many people who know what to do with their life when they are young.ecstasy i don't know if they sell 5 htp in the us.its nutrition building blocks for serotonin.if not get into raw salmon.often downs last long if your diets not good for replenishing serotonin but yea its normal coming down we all go though it it will pass remind your self.i know just how your feeling man been thier alot .my mate here in nz told me bout Nocturnal Wonderland sounds mean aye.
