Hi everyone, I know I am not a lesbian, as I have had hundreds of crushes on guys. But I have now met a girl at work who I have developed a BIG crush on. So I guess I am bi-curious or something? It's complicated as I have just (literally yesterday) ended a 6 year relationship with my boyfriend. We have a young daughter. This crush played no part in that, the relationship has been over for months really. I know I am probably rebounding so I wouldn't want to lead anyone on into thinking I am ready for a real relationship or anything... but I'm thinking about her a lot. I don't know what to do. I have a feeling she might be gay, I just want to find out if she likes girls or not. I am so awkward around her though! I have no idea how to approach this. This is one of the biggest crushes I have ever had, and I just don't know what to do about it. Our shifts only match up about once a week, and she is basically a total stranger right now. I want to get to know her better. I have noticed her looking at me a bit (but that might be her just weirded out because I am always glancing at her), and I have tried to be friendly despite my awkwardness. I feel like there is some kind of tension/chemistry there - but I don't know if that's just me looking too much into it! Any advice/stories? I don't really know what I am looking for, I just needed to get it out and tell somebody. Thanks for readingx
Hi, Welcome to Empty Closets! Just a little question. Is it ONE of the biggest crushes you've ever had, or is it your absolute biggest crush ever and you've never felt like this before? Think carefully. Normally I would say to come out to her, but since you still identify as straight, that won't do any good. You could confide in her that you've been questioning your sexuality. Otherwise, just try to talk to her. But you can't ask her about her sexuality without saying something about your own that indicates a possible interest in women. Seriously. Not unless she's doing something that overtly invites questions, like wearing rainbow stuff, or something that actually says "gay" on it or something like that. What makes you think she might be gay? (Incidentally, do you really think an ENORMOUS crush qualifies as "curiosity"? Because that seems a lot more intense than just "I kinda wonder what it would be like with a girl." It doesn't sound to me like you are curious. It sounds to me like you like her.)
If you guys are practically strangers, it might be a good idea first to make friends with her first before you start asking her personal questions about sexuality or telling her personal things about yourself. Just my opinion. Get to know her first.
Ianthe, just a big crush. I couldn't really say biggest crush EVER, I have had just as big crushes on many guys before. I do think I like her, I guess it's more realising I might be bi with a heavy leaning towards men - I don't want to experiment with girls as a general thing, I like THIS one. I only suspect she might be gay because she seems a bit androgynous and tomboyish. Just something about her manner as well. So it's very possible she isn't. As I said, I have felt a bit of tension or chemistry between us, but that could be all in my head. I agree Hsj22, I wont be getting into that sort of stuff with her till I know her better.
