So before my girlfriend and I started dating (officially together for three months today) she hadn't dated someone for six years. So her best friend of 3 years has never seen her in a relationship. Her best friend is engaged to her boyfriend of one year and every time we hang out with her he is there. Lately she has been bitching my girlfriend out for not having enough time with her. About a month ago she bitched her out so bad that my girlfriend broke down and went over there to have "alone" time with her friend, even though she lives 40 minutes away from me and her best friend (me and her bestie live in the same city where we all go to college, but my gf lives 30 minutes out). Then her best friends boyfriend was there! Her bestie never comes to see her and doesnt seem to understand that she cant drive to the city all the ti me(im her girlfriend and we only get to see each other alone one day a week). It came to a high point last night. Yesterday we had been studying over skype ALL DAY LONG for an insanely hard biology test we have (we took the class together). We didnt leave our houses, stayed in pajamas and didnt txt anybody all day cause we studied so hard. and at ONE O CLOCK IN THE MORNING my girlfriend gets a text saying "you dropped off the face of the earth again today-not cool". Its frustrating me how inconsiderate her friend is, and its frustrating my girlfriend too, to the point where she is breaking down in tears. Her friend doesnt understand we dont get to hold hands in public, we dont get to kiss or hug or see each other hardly at all. And I can't say anything about it! What should I do? :eusa_pray prayin to jesus so I dont punch her in her teeny face >.<
I've been with my girlfriend now for almost 4 years, and I kinda went through the same kind of thing with her best friend. It's not completely the same (as it's obviously a hetero relationship), but her friend was also very clingy and demanding. I don't know if I did the right thing, but what I did was I confronted my gf about it, and asked her just how important this friend was, and if I was also important. Her best friend was also a bad influence on top of it, making her drink (and she even got to school one day completely hammered, so not good). I basically told her to explain to her friend that there is friendship which is important, but then there is the relationship that we are in, and that we (me and my gf) also need OUR time. I asked her to explain BOUNDARIES to her best friend and what exactly is and isn't acceptable behavior... and the most important part, that if she truly cared and loved her, then she had to also accept those boundaries... Hope that helped somewhat...
It eventually escelated >.< My girlfriend and I were hanging out when I suggested we go see her friend, but halfway to her house her friend found out I was with her and said she would rather just hang out, she wanted alone time with my girlfriend. SO my girlfriend confronted her about her being too demanding(we see each other alone one time a week, she wanted half of that day with her, when they hung out once that week already) but her friend demanded she did nothing wrong. They quit texting but then her friend said they should meet outside of campus to talk(which i think is even more messed up, demanding that she see her outside of school when the whole issue is that my girlfriend doesnt have the gas money to go visit her, and that she is being more demanding). Its frustrating, Im trying not to hate her friend, I even got her a job, but she keeps making it impossible, even my girlfriend agrees. She's acting like my girlfriend is her girlfriend even though shes straight and engaged I just want to scream
I guess this is where I'm lucky that my girlfriend IS my best friend. This friend sounds like she needs a chill pill. She needs to understand that friendships and relationships are both important, and that your gf can make time for both you and her without it getting ugly or the friend being so possessive.
