So at school we've recently started studying relationships in psychology, which is pretty interesting... But in lesson today, my teacher started asking me questions like: "Oh, what attracts you to a member of the opposite sex?" "What would you rate this lady's looks out of 5?" etc.etc. (we were learning about how relationships form and what makes them start, hense why he went round the class asking this) I felt awful being put on the spot and had to lie, but it made me feel really uncomfortable. I was wondering... Do you think I should E-mail him descretely, let him know I'm gay and that I'd rather not be asked questions like that, or do I do nothing and hope it stops? :S I guess I'd also have to tell him that I don't want anyone else knowing... Also, if I were to E-mail him, what should be in that E-mail...? Thanks <3 (*hug*)
Hey I think maybe send an email to his head of department as a... complaint (sort of)? That way you don't have to go to him direct and he doesn't have to find out which student it is that he's made uncomfortable. I had something similar in Business Studies when we were asked alomost exactly the same questions, but I was already out to most people and was ballsy enough to just say it made my teacher feel really awkward and taught him a lesson.
I think it's reasonable to send an email to the teacher. Just something simple like "It may not have occurred to you, or you may not have run across it before, but not everyone in your class is straight, and of those who aren't straight, not all of them are out and public about it. When you asked me what girls were attractive to me, it was awkward for me because I'm gay, but not out, so I didn't feel comfortable answering truthfully. I"m sure you didn't intend for that to happen, but I thought I'd bring it to your attention." I'm sure he'll think twice before using that example again.
I don't even think you need to tell him you're gay. If he's a decent teacher, I think just indicating you were uncomfortable being put on the spot about something personal should be enough to get him to stop. Though, if you don't outright tell him you're gay and go with something like I said, it may lead him to suspect something's up. So I guess it's your call whether it's worse for him to know or not know.
That's incredibly unprofessional.. it really is. I did psychology last year at college; if my teacher asked anything as personal as that, I would go and complain instantly. And I'm pretty sure he's not meant to ask questions like that. My teacher never asked anything about your own personal attractions, and we did relationships as well.. >.>
I would say if you are comfortable with outing yourself to him directly then send an email similar to what Chip said. If you don't want him to know that it was you specifically than you can do as hml8 said and send a complain to the head of the department. I think either method should be effective, its really only a matter of what you are more comfortable doing. As long as you don't think the teacher would treat you negatively for being gay it would probably be less embarrassing for him if you sent the email to him directly. Also, I've had to rate the attractiveness of different individuals in a few of my psychology classes (its my major) but they have always provided a picture of both a male and a female and you basically just provide a rating without indicating which gender you are rating. I think this should be a minimum requirement for such activities.
And whilst this is a good idea, we're the only class doing relationships... The other class is doing sleep xD Plus there's only 6 of us in our class 3 of us are male... So I think he'd be able to work it out pretty easily xD
E-mail him discretely..telling the head of the department may make him feel as if he is being personally attacked.every one says the wrong things with out thinking some times.if he meant no harm a discreet email of what these situations feel like should work .i was trying to think of what you could write to him but dont think i could do better than chips.(When you asked me what girls were attractive to me, it was awkward for me because I'm gay, but not out, so I didn't feel comfortable answering truthfully. I"m sure you didn't intend for that to happen, but I thought I'd bring it to your attention." )
