SOS!! I'm A FAKE PERSON!!!

......on getting back that sassiness! Who do you have to hide it from these days?

 

I think time will allow you to come out of your shell a bit more, as you start to trust people around you, you can act like yourself and open up to people more.

I've been in a vaguely similar situation where I lost my identity and I ended up having no opinions on anything because I'd be criticised for my thoughts and opinions. In different situations I would change my personality to be whoever I felt the person I was with wanted or needed me to be. The thing that made me regain my identity and start to become myself again was getting out of that situation, talking to a counsellor and time. I slowly started to realise it was unhealthy for me to change my personality, thoughts and opinions to fit others, and as I was now in a non threatening environment I could be myself and have thoughts and opinions on things. It's taken me a couple of years but I'm a lot happier now and more outgoing and I've found out who I am.

Not exactly advice there but it is possible to recover from these sorts of things.

I think you need to work out who you are and then let your personality show more as you become more confident and trust the people around you more.

Hope that makes sense.

(Love the pic Lance )

 

boarding school seemed to make me wear a uniform on the inside as well as out.i don't think your fake we all hide bits about ourselves.i think you will find you will become more like you want to be as you get older and are in mob situations less.some times i meet people from boarding school and are shocked who they have become as people(often way less evil).one of my old prefects gave me a bear when i saw him he used to give me cold showers all the time that's naked with a fire hose. err i prob like that now .

 

I totally understand where you're coming from because I admire all the women on this show called, The Real L Word. I just love how they're so open, proud and confident about being gay. It took me forever to become even the littlest bit of secure about being gay, but watching the show has really helped me. So, I kinda mimic them (my little secret), but I'm still being myself, although I truly admire a lot of their qualities.

I actually started noticing that people were trying to act like me, which is weird. From the way I laugh, talk, my hair color, to the things that I say, and they take what I say and use as it a their own :eusa_naug It kind of pissed me off; I'm know I'm awesome, but there's only one of me!!! GRRRR! :tantrum:

And I do believe that I lost a lot of who I used to be by hiding, so it took a while for me to become comfortable in my own skin again. Just start slowly integrating the person that used to be in things like the way you dress/carry yourself. Then go from there...but let it come naturally instead of trying to force it because then people can tell when you are trying too hard. My nieces have a friend who's so fabulous and I admire him for being himself and courageous. They are still high school and he tends to hang around all girls and there's nothing wrong with that!

 

I give terrible advice.

You've been warned.

I know what it's like to hide yourself, and attempt to mold yourself to fit seamlessly into those social situations, like I'm sure many on this site do. Let me tell you a little bit about what I went through with this.

Even before I was old enough to realize what it was, I knew there was something different about me. I was desperate to keep people from finding it, and I did everything I could to make sure that didn't happen. I set out to make myself into the perfect person for every situation. School, home, it didn't matter. My thoughts, my opinions, even my emotions weren't my own. I did my best to think like others; classmates, my parents, I made sure that I agreed with everything they said because, in my mind, if anything about myself was different from them, even the littlest thing, they would realize my secret. (That became particularly trying when I realized what that secret was:eek

I segregated my friends into groups, groups that never spoke to each other or hung out so that I could appear to agree with them, without arousing suspicion in other friends. It ultimately made me paranoid. Worse than that, it robbed me of my childhood.

It got worse as I grew. Eventually everything I'd worked so hard to build began to unravel one string at a time. Every time a flaw emerged in my oh so perfect exterior, I completely fell apart. It was exhausting. I became so obsessed with making sure that people didn't find out that one thing about me, that it became the only thing I was for quite some time. There were a few times that I seriously considered ending it. Anything would have been better than that. Hell, what did it really matter. By that point, I didn't know who I was. I had no personality of my own. I might have too, but I met somebody. Hard as I tried, she could read me and I realized at then that I wanted that more than anything.

As time went on, I let her in more and more. It was slow going, but it saved my life and she's been my best friend for over a decade now.

I know the situation sucks, but it can get better, and living a lie is not the answer. I'm not saying you should jump out into the world all at once and announce yourself to the sun and stars. That could be disastrous. What I am saying is that, once you're ready, it can start with just one person. I know how hard it can be to trust, but it's a leap of faith and it always will be. Thanks to one person, I'm out (at least orientation wise), to the important people in my life, and I don't hide it from others.

I'm proud to say that some of my thoughts are even my own now.

Your personality, the person you were and want to be again will come back to you, but the only way to truly nurture it is to expose it, albeit slowly at first, to the outside world.

I am so long winded. Anyway, I don't know if this helps, or confuses the issue more, or even if you stayed around to read the whole thing, but it's what I think.