In the past few months I have come to accept the reality that I'am bisexual. While I now feel safe with this fact in my own mind, I now have to face the outside world. The first and foremost problem for me is my current "romantic" relationship. I have been dating a girl for several years now. She my first everything, (real) date, kiss, girlfriend,sexual partner etc... Almost everyone I know expects us to get married in the not too distant future. Unfortunately I don't think I love this person anymore. I also feel trapped because my girlfriend is almost totally emotionally reliant on me to get through her life. If I were to break up with her at the wrong time or too harshly I do think she would try to kill herself. :bang: I could use some advice on how to deal with this situation. Thanks for reading my first post everyone!
Wow. You are really in a tough spot. I really don't what to say other than offer support. I can understand where you are coming from and hope that everything comes ok with both of you. Just one thing to add... When or if you decide to make a change in your current relationship, please be sure that your girlfriend has the help and support to get through it. You obviously do care about her and want her to be happy. Make sure you both make it through a very difficult time.
I understand skipper, my wife is disabled and I quit my job four yrs ago to stay at home and take care of her. Now that I have come out to her, we are at a stand still. My feelings for her have always been ones of love and compassion. I thought those were what heterosexual couples had for each other. I now realize that they are feelings for a best-est friend, not a lover or wife. She is in denial, she believes that we can just be a couple, and it would be a sex less marriage. So I understand those feelings of frustration. I hope things get better for you
its not a good reason to stay in the relationship. Ive seen that situation so many times.does she have friends to support her if you break up who you could warn about the situation.
^this is pretty much the key here. As painful of an idea as it must be, you can't be solely responsible for her happiness, and the sole thing keeping her from hurting herself. Do talk to some of her friends - and even family, if you feel comfortable doing so - ahead of time to make sure she'll have some sort of support network (though it might be best if she doesn't know this is happening). Even beyond the issue of orientation, though, if you're not feeling attached to her in the same way as you used to, that will have to be confronted eventually.
Trust me Skipper, my feelings are so obvious to me now with my wife, I just need to be gentle and allow her time to grieve and let go. No matter the issue, that is always the hardest part of any decision.
This is a tough and delicate situation. Breaking up is hard for anyone. Some harder then others. You don't wanna be in the relationship just for her or if your heart isn't in it anymore. I'm hoping if u decide to break up with her she will understand and move on. You don't wanna stay in a relationship that your not really fully into anymore then you shouldn't. Things change and ppl change. I just hope your gf understands in the end.. Good Luck!
This brings up an important question about the difference between love and lust, two words surely don't adequately describe the full range of human emotions on the subject. However this question has been absolutely killing me this week. I love my girlfriend. I sooo badly want for her to be happy, but I'm devastated. I have heard people say that it is wrong for me to stay in a relationship for the sake of the other person. I'm not so sure, I have been loyal to her, defended and supported her. Is it moral for me to dash the happiness of another person for my own potential happiness? I love her, in that sense, that I have done and still do as much as I can to make her happy. So I feel like such as BASTARD when I long for other people. I don't lust for my girlfriend anymore. Is it possible to lust for and love someone? I would certainly say yes. But do those feelings last forever? When lust leaves a relationship and only caring love remains what is one left with? Should we perpetually shuffle our romantic relationships? I feel very very lost. I apologize for the erratic structure of this post but I'm beside myself and a little drunk. PLEASE weigh in on you views on love and lust in relationships.
On the first post I've noticed how you said you don't think you live her anymore, but on your recent post you said you did. Either way, t's important to look at HOW you love her. Would you say that you love her more as an older sibling loves a younger sibling and watches over them? If it's a relationship where she expects a romantic or sexual love but you honestly don't have those emotions, if she finds out one day, it could devastate her. I know you care for her but I think it's important that you think about letting her find someone who could share the same feelings that she has for them. I don't mean that in a rude or offensive way or to put you down at all. I just know that in her situation, I'd expect the same dedication and feelings from my partner. There are people who don't experience lust at all. I'm not saying that all relationships require a sexual attraction. I'm only saying that if that's what you two had before, it'd be difficult to maintain one without the mutual feelings. It may be hard for her, but you'd rather not risk her finding out down the line when she could possibly be worse off, right? It may take some support from family and friends but I think it may be for the best for both of you long-term. This is what my opinion is from reading your posts. I could be off from what I'm writing, so let us know if I'm wrong. P.S.: If/When you happen to tell her, make sure she knows that it's not her fault. The last thing you'll want is for her to blame herself.
