have you ever been in a relationship just to feel normal. this guy wants to date me and i dont know what to do. i like the fact that he likes me, but when ever he touches me i just want him to get off of me. he doesn't even do anything wrong, but i cant stand it. a part of me wants to try and make it work, because technically we are compatible, we get along and have fun together, but im not interested in anything physical. could i ever learn to love him? what ever i do i feel like i am hurting him. its not fair to him to date him, but it would hurt his feelings if i said no and basically stopped talking to him. hes so sweet, i dont want to hurt him. and a part of me likes the attention, even though it feels so wrong. have any of you ever been in a situation like this? what did you do?
If he's a guy, if there's no physical part of the relationship I doubt it will work. If you don't like the physical part, be up frony with him and see where it goes.
I think the best thing to do in this situation is say "Thanks, but no thanks" (nicely of course). If you begin dating him, at some point he is going to find out that you were using him to feel "normal". That is going to hurt him way more than turning him down upfront. Dating him wouldn't be fair to him but it also wouldn't be fair to you. You would be wasting your time with someone you can't have a romantic and sexual relationship with. I'm not saying that you should stop talking to him or stop being his friend. You can just nicely explain that although he is a great guy, you just aren't interested in him in that way. Instead of trying to be like everyone else, why don't you focus on being yourself and exploring what you'd like to do?
Oh yea. I dated a guy who was in love with me, but I wasn't in love with him. He kept pursuing me (which I absolutely hated) even after I turned him down many times. Finally I decided to give him a chance but the relationship didn't last long. We dated on and off every few months until finally we just called it quits. If you force yourself to date this guy, it will most likely end badly. You have to do what feels right for you.
I was in a similar situation. He never knew. I hated being touched, because it made me feel dirty. Despite this I enjoyed the more physical side if I closed my eyes. Even if you're completely turned off by guys, you can love them as a friend and love being with them and sharing time with them. But you cannot force yourself to be attracted to someone you're not. You need to consider finishing the relationship; you don't need to specify why. But it's not fair on him for you to expect a friendship, if he's looking for a loving relationship. Hope it works out x
