Ok, so I'm new to this site, and I feel a bit weird typing this knowing people will be reading so bear with me please. This has happened a few times to some others on here from what I gather, but I fallen into the dreaded ailment known as unconditional love... You know the kind that requires a lot of heartaches and jealousy and tears and then inexplicable happiness the next moment. I've been in love with my female best friend for over two years, and I'm not exactly sure when exactly it happened, but right after I became best friends with her the process of love began. I've never connected with anybody like her. I'm attracted to her in every way imaginable, which was odd for me because before her I thought I was asexual (though I've had sex with one man I wasn't aroused by it and dated men to fit in in high school) and wasn't attracted to anybody in a physical way... at least not intensely (except one other close female friend I had when she was trying to seduce/talk me into a threesome. I respectfully declined due to my beliefs) where I only want one person. We jokingly flirt and through this process I've realized I may be a lesbian. I took that Kinsey test and it said I either answered a question "wrong" (weird for a sexuality test...) or that I was just unusual. I've had crushes on other girls but am very religious and it was easy for me to dismiss them as "a phase." However, this is different. I now know what love is. I always thought that you could sorta choose who you fell for, but now I realize you can't. Who knew? What I'm wondering is, do you think she may like me back? I'm always the first she tells things to and we cuddle when we share a bed sometimes (I usually initiate but she responds and she has initiated before on rare occassions) and we spoon even though she admits she's not a "touchy feely" person. She's told me she's looking for someone whose just like me in a spouse and that she wishes one of us was a man so we could be married. We pretend to be married and I fake proposed a year ago by presenting her jewelry and such. She accepted and we would have pet names in the beginning of our friendship. Neither of us are mushy people, but we've been total saps late at night when we talk to each other about how we care for the other. We connect spiritually, mentally, emotionally... everything even though we are so opposite sometimes. She's amazing in every way. She's my best friend and I want her to be happy... even if it means it's not with me. (she must have noticed by now I get jealous when she cat calls guys she finds sexy cuz I'm emotionally an open book about it... but she never says anything) So what do you guys think? Does she like me too?
Its really hard to say, she might, or she might not, I dont want to be a downer but some straight girls would do the things she does and others wouldnt so I dont want to build your hopes up. Im not dissmissing it outright. Perhaps you could come out to her about questioning your sexuality and she what she says, chances are if she likes you she will do the same.
I agree with SilverHalo. If you're comfortable enough to come out to her, do it! You never know, she may do the same. And even if she doesn't return your feelings, it sounds like she'll be accepting of you. Best of luck!
I really appreciate the feedback! Yeah a year or so ago I told her I was attracted to girls, and she just said if it made me happy she'd support me. We haven't talked about it since, but I'm pretty sure a person remembers a convo like that. I'm doubting that she really likes me cuz I know she's attracted to men, but since I'm not, I always wonder if I'll ever find someone. I haven't told her I like HER cuz even though I know she'd be polite about it we wouldn't be able to cuddle or be mushy and things might be awkward. </3 I'm about out of my mind keeping it in though, which is why I recently joined this site. My parents are tired of me talking about it and being so emotional all the time, so I turned to a site where I could be anonymous and vent lol
Yeah id say if she liked you she would have said something by now. There is someone out there for you, you just havent found them yet. You will find them when you least expect it.
I went through this exact same situation(literally word for word): I am, well was, the kind of person that wouldn't even let u hug me let alone anything else. And me and my best friend became very very close friends, we told each other everything and we also cuddled/spooned every night we stayed with eachothers house like u and your friend. And most the time I started it. And when this was happening to me I thought it was completely wrong and didn't even wanna think about the fact that I might be gay. And my life was crazy and emotional roller coaster for 2 years trying to figure everything out, and my relationship with my best friend kept getting even closer and even more like a relationship and less of "just friends." We both considered ourselfs straight before all of this started happening. I had a few crushes on guys in the past, and she had had a bf before. Our other friends started to tease us about it, and make jokes like "u guys act like a married couple." I hated it when they said things like that. I was scared to death to talk about it with her, because I didn't wanna ever lose her as a friend. We did talk though, many times. And most of our talks we said that things needed to stop and we could only act as just friends. But that never worked, we just became closer in our relationship and more physical. Currently I'm dating that same girl, my best friend, and we have been officially dating for a year(but all this has been going on for about 3 years). I couldn't ask for a better relationship. I'm not saying that everything is gonna work out for your situation too. I'm just saying that there is always hope. You never know, she could be completely straight, or she could like you but scared to tell you. I know you said u told her your attracted to girls, but it was a while ago. Maybe bring that topic back up. Try to figure out if she is straight, or maybe questioning, or bi. Just try to talk to her.
I was also in a similar situation, although we had much less physical contact (I stop breathing for a minute just shaking hands with my crush, and my insides go all fluttery, and she's not really comfortable with physical contact to begin with) the one closest friend in my life is the only person I've ever actually fell in love with. I told her recently, and she doesn't feel the same way, but she also doesn't hold it against me and even if things do end up being more awkward, I'm glad I was finally honest with her. So, my advice to you is probably not entirely helpful, but here it is: It depends. How much would you be risking by telling her? Are you able to cope if the worst case scenario happens? Will you be okay if she doesn't reciprocate, will you still be able to keep the friendship going even if things are a bit awkward for a while? What could you gain, even if it is a worst case scenario, by telling her? maybe your freedom to move on? and in the best case, you could gain the love of your life being with you forever. You may want to weigh all those options out in your mind before you decide anything.
Thanks you guys! I really appreciate the feedback. I've been having a hard time admitting this to myself but everyone on is really supportive and helping me feel "normal." Tomorrow night I'm going to be spending the night at her house, and I asked if I could talk about my past abusive relationship (I've been holding all that in for awhile). She said she would listen if I needed to talk. Maybe I should tell her tomorrow since we'll be having a deep discussion anyway. I could accept if she doesn't like me, cuz I know just as well as anyone that you can't control how you feel about someone and I really wouldn't hold that against her. I don't think things would be TOO different (it would be alittle, sure) if I told her, but I'm so terrified to do it. At the same time, I DO think it would help me move on since I've been such a wreck. I'm thinking about moving to a small town where my sis lives because I can't stand seeing her all the time without knowing EXACTLY how she feels (well that's clearly not the only reason but it is a main one) so I think she deserves to know if I do in fact decide to leave.
I have been in the exact same situation as well. I was in love with my best friend for two years. She and I cuddled in my twin bed when we slept over together. We actually ended up just making out one night, which I do not advise as the beginning of a relationship. She, like you, had thought that I only liked guys and that she had no chance, but I am actually bisexual. Though she had come out to me months before, I didn't come out to her until a month before we kissed. We have been dating for nine months now and we are both very much in love. My advice is to tell her how you feel. Tell her that you have feelings for her. As close as the two of you are, it probably won't change you relationship much and not for very long. I think it is worth the risk. It was for me. I wouldn't change what I did for anything even if she had rejected me. You won't be able to get peace of mind until you know one way or the other.
I am beginning to think I should tell her, especially before/if I decide to move. Hopefully I can somehow bring up the subject tonight but I'm so nervous. =/ I know she won't disown me or anything, but... UGH! How do people deal with this!? :eusa_doh:
I mean we talk to each other nearly everyday still after two years... We're even texting right now! So even if she doesn't like me, I know she cares enough to be mature about it if I tell her tonight. Thanks for the luck! If I go for it tonight I'll need it.
I'm such a wimp... -__- I told her about my abusive relationship (in detail) and how I no longer trust men, and we connected, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell her I love her... ;_; Which is dumb cuz no matter how much molten lava crazy I spew on her she still accepts me, so I know this is an unfounded fear. I almost insisted on sleeping on the floor, (cuz I was planning on telling her) but we ended up sharing one like usual cuz she thought I was nervous about opening up about my abusive ex. We ended up cuddling almost all night. *sighs contentedly* We had lotsa fun today too, running all over the place and hanging out at the museum and stores, etc. I just felt pressured by myself and I didn't wanna be in the same bed when I told her. Plus, it would've killed my chance to cuddle and I really enjoy that... ^_^' Man I'm a wimp... -__-
