One of the things that I have found to be the most difficult part of coming out is the loneliness. While I have a number of supportive friends near by, I don't know a single openly gay man. I may know some closeted ones but they are closeted, so I don't know who they are. I've considered using a dating service to find a local friend but there are so many sketchy ones out there that I am afraid to trust any of them. Does anyone have any advise or know of a good, trustworthy dating service/website?
You're looking for friends - not dates. So a dating service isn't really something you should be using. Instead, look into attending local PFLAG or other support groups for gays and lesbians. Look into any social clubs. Here in Toronto there is a group called 'Out and Out' which organizes all kinds of social events for the LGBT community. Volunteer at a local community center if there is one that caters to LGBT youth. But I know exactly what you're feeling. And I do encourage you to look for a gay friend who you can be open with and hang out with. I found it really helpful. I acutally made an online ad looking for a gay friend (other gay dads to be specific) and a number of decent guys responded. I became good friends with one, and we spent quite a bit of time together when I was first coming out. We were strictly friends, which was what I wanted and needed at the time. Good luck!
Hi there! Wanting to have some gay friends now that you are out, and are being yourself, is only natural and understandable. As Jim mentioned, though, using a dating service or dating websites to find friends, isn't the best way of going about it finding or getting to know people as friends. Your safest bet to get to know someone as a friend is through a LGBT support group, or a LGBT social group. Maybe try doing an online search for your area and see what you come up with. I would encourage you find a group that you could join. Joining a support group and their social activities, helped me tremendously and making some friends and also having someone to talk to about things. Hope you can find something in your area.
Thanks for the advice. I've been on the dating website for only three weeks and so far I've had nothing but the curious looking for an encounter. I live in a rather rural area surrounded by Mennonites. They aren't exactly what I would can LGBT friendly. The closest LGBT support group or community centre is 100 Km away. Fortunately I have a lot of really supportive straight friends but so far none of them know anyone like me.
Strangely, I found solace in a lesbian couple at work (and I'm a gay male). Meetup might be more up your alley, as well.
