Hey guys. So my second year of college starts this week and one of my goals for this year is try to be more social and actually make some friends. There is one little proem though . . . I don't have a clue how to start doing this. I'm a very socially awkward person and I'm shy to a fault and I'm so used to keeping to myself that I don't really know how to step out of comfort zone. I don't have a lot of confidence in myself so that doesn't help me start meeting people and making friends. Last year I only really talked to two people and I didn't really know anybody on my dorm floor. Any tips/adivice on how to start being social and coming out of my shell would be appreciated, thanks.
Hi there! One thing you could try doing is joining a club or group at the collage. Usually, colleges will have social and advocacy groups, which are always looking for new members. Joining a social, activity and/or advocacy group will help you in getting to know new people and start making some new friendships. Maybe have a look on your college's website under student groups, or advocacy groups and see what you can find. Maybe you will find something that would interest you, and correspond to some of your interests/hobbies. You could also try finding out if there is a LGBT support/social group on campus. Joining a group where you have the chance to meet people who have something in common with you, will make the first conversation a bit easier because there is something you share and relate to. Being able to share and relate to something will place you on a more secure footing. It is totally okay when you start to meet new people to be a bit nervous and perhaps even a bit shy. But as you start to get to know them, and they also start talking with you, you will most likely start feeling more comfortable in opening up and also more at ease when talking with them.
Smile. A lot. Every person you walk by, shoot them a nice smile. You'd be surprised how far you get. It will be hard, but try.
I'd agree with the advice to join as many clubs and groups as are of interest to you. I have learned from my own experience that I have an easier time talking to strangers if we're engaged in a common purpose or specific activity. For example, if I go to a party and it's just kind of a "stand around and mingle" affair, I usually freeze up to a certain degree. If I go to something like square dancing, a hike, or a structured discussion group, I find it much easier to socialize. You might try seeing if structure makes it easier for you to break out of your shell. The nice thing I've also found is that when I go to structured events for a little while, I develop a group of friends and acquaintances that are often at the unstructured stuff. That way when I walk into one of those "stand around and mingle" affairs, I already have a few people I know and feel comfortable around and they are usually able to break the ice by introducing me to the strangers.
