I'll cut right to the chase. I decided to throw my hat into the dating ring. To my surprise I've gotten more attention than I anticipated. There is one guy who I'm interested in clicking with and we're going to be chatting really soon. I need some advice. This is an awkward stage of a relationship where you're basically two strangers meeting for the first time and trying to see if you have anything in common at all. There is added pressure because you're trying to walk the line and be honest, but you don't want to reveal anything that will scare someone off and have them run for the hills. It's just small talk and seeing if anything clicks. I might want to have a few clicks (depending on how he comes off). I'm not good at this type of small talk. It just isn't my forte. I already have a few tricks to get through it. Like, for example, ask questions and then use his answers as a chance to reveal things about myself that he can relate too. Where I stumble is when I'm asked questions, or if I'm in a situation where he is even more insecure and getting information from him is like pulling teeth. (Been there done that recently. We ended up talking about his favorite TV show Everybody Loves Raymond and comparing our families to the characters on the show. :eusa_doh: ) Mostly, I'm looking for some good topics to discuss - some interesting places to steer the conversation. I don't want to get into anything too personal.
Hi there! When going on dates, I find that it is easier to strike up a good conversation based on a 'safe' common ground, or on topics that I can actively contribute to. The only thing I would caution on is to ensure that the questions and answers don't turn into an interview type date. So, and with that said... What do you like doing? What are your hobbies? Are there any overlaps between yours and his? Do you like different ethnic foods? Have you traveled? Has he traveled? If so, where? Have you visited places that you find interesting, and would you like to go back to? If there is a place that you would like to visit, which place would it be, and why? Have you read something that has inspired you? What do you do for a living? What do you like about it? Movies, music, literature... What kind of a 'realistic and honest image' would you like your date to have of you, after all is said and done, without revealing too personal or deep stuff?
As long as you are enjoying the conversation then I think talking about "silly" things like that is great! Specially since you are learning about his family in an indirect way, you learn about his hobbies, his likes, and you learn about his humor! Win all around in my opinion! Talk about whatever you find interesting and try to find something about him that you like, and then go from there. Some things might be personal, but usually the whole "thing might be too personal, but" thing gives people an out and they won't feel like you are some crazy dude without any boundaries. What works for me is to be as honest about myself as I can. With me, being personal early on is just something that I do. If a guy can't handle that then it won't work out in the long run. It makes it easier to weed out people. Don't feel afraid to do just that
