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Want to know

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by metoo, Sep 27, 2012.

  1. metoo

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    Hi, this is my first time on this site and it is wonderful. I really want to know if I am lesbian or not. I really want to be gay, I don't know why, I just want to. It frustrates me that I don't know for sure. There is no one I can talk to. I really like girls. The whole idea of being with a girl is wonderful to me, but I also would be fine with going out with a guy, as long as it was just casual and nothing too serious. I don't have many friends because I am a nerd, but I still am nice to everyone. I don't want my mom or dad to suspect anything yet. When I tell them, which I am planning when I am 17 (in three years) I want that to be the first time they know or suspect. I feel like I just need some advice on what to do now. My life is confusing and not going to well.
     
  2. Kat kanu

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    hey just give yourself time i didnt know till i was 20 so dnt worry about it know
     
  3. O_Negative

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    Agreed. I will be 21 in about a month and until a couple months ago I adamantly identified as a straight cis-woman. Give yourself time! We are young.
     
  4. livinglifefree

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    To me, it sounds like you may be attracted to men and women, but only emotionally attracted to girls. The best thing for you to do right now is just take your time and breathe. Don't rush anything. Just allow yourself to feel the way you do. I didn't even admit to myself that I was bisexual until my senior year of high school and I didn't tell my parents until second semester freshmen year of college. There is no rush. Your sexual orientation is permanent so it will always be around for you to explore and develop.
     
  5. metoo

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    I'm so glad that sexually identity is permanent. Otherwise I would go crazy. I also am definitally not only atracted to girls emotionally. Thier physical bodies are amazing. What are the different kind of attraction? Emotional, physical, etc.?
     
  6. livinglifefree

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    I worded that awkwardly, but I understood that you are also sexually attracted to girls. I only meant to imply that you may not be emotionally attracted to men. I think there is emotional, physical, and sexual attraction. I think emotional attraction has to do with what kind of emotional support someone can offer you and what kind of emotional support you need/want. I do think there is a difference in sexual and physical attraction though. Physical attraction, to me, is more like thinking that someone is a good looking person, has a nice body, a cute haircut, etc. Sexual attraction is more of people that you want to touch and be with..well..sexually. lol.
     
  7. metoo

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    Now that you explain a little more to me, I think that I am sexually, physically, and emotionally attracted to girls and emotionally attracted to guys. If that is true would I be bisexual, or lesbian?
     
  8. indivision

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    It's nearly impossible for other people to give you an identity for your sexuality. You are the only one who can define what bisexual and lesbian is for yourself. You have plenty of time to explore it all, though.
     
  9. livinglifefree

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    Instead of labeling it, I think you should just accept that sexuality is a fluid thing and to take it on a case by case basis. It sounds like you are leaning towards lesbian, but you shouldn't rule guys out all together if there is an attraction there. Just give yourself time and eventually you will know.
     
  10. metoo

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    Good idea. I'm not sure why I feel I need to lable myself. Maybe it would be more secure. I want to expiriment now, but I am probably to young. It is frustrating how you almost never seem you get what you want when you want it. Should I still try to pay attention to the case by case, or focus on other things for now?
     
  11. livinglifefree

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    It is really hard at first. I would just focus on other things for now. When you are really interested in someone, be it girl or boy, you will know. Just focus on school, friends, and having fun for now. You are young so there is no reason to rush into anything romantic.
     
  12. metoo

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    Thank you so much.
     
  13. livinglifefree

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    You are very welcome!