I had this fight today with my parents about something, I was defending my little sister, because they got mad about something she did. And suddenly my mom was like, I know you´re very liberal, and you think very different from us. While your sister can´t stand the sight of two men kissing, she´s repulsed by it but you don´t care and you actually like it, and you even want it... :eek: :eek: :eek: :icon_redf I was like what??? what do you mean?? and she was like, I don´t care what you do....:eek: I didn´t deny it, I was just shocked. I just asked what she meant, and she just didn´t answer.... OMG!! Im too shocked right now. :help:
WOW!!!!! damn, dude. they know, man. it's safe to say they know already but it's messed up how they're insulting you about it like that.
Oh they definitely know. And I love how your parents completely flipped the script when you jumped in. They could have been pissed because she left the water running in the sink, but the second you come in to say something they're like "your sister hates fags! But you LOVE them, don't you, don't you!!??!" Whoa! I thought we were talking about the water in the sink, what the hell?! Oh parents. It's like they were just waiting for an opening, any opening. Priceless. So what are you gonna do?
With absolutely no offense meant... most of us have been telling you that they've known for quite a while now. It might seem like a revelation now that that was a really point-blank scenario you just went through, but for the rest of us looking at your situation from the outside, it's nothing that shocking. What is shocking is that she brought it up like that, just because it seemed kind of random in this context. Point is, now there's no getting around that she knows. You've got two real options here: 1) Carry on as if she already knows and don't say anything about it. 2) Actually sit and talk to her/the rest of the fam and properly come out to them, just to clear the air and make sure it's out in the open (and on your terms). As for which option is better, that's up for you to decide. I'd personally go with 2, just because I'd like things to be on my terms (I'd rather my telling them I'm gay than them telling me I'm gay, if that makes sense). Being perfectly honest though, I think it's kind of futile to go on pretending any longer that they don't know. The only thing holding you back now is your fear... and you've got all of our support.
Sometimes parents are grabbing and pulling furiously on the closet door, only to have their child pulling just as hard from inside, trying to keep it closed. As Budder said (in a different way), I think you're in that category, and have been for a while. So your mom finally decided to take the bull by the horns and address the issue. That was probably just as hard for you as it would have been for you to come out to her. So... take the vulnerability that she's shown to you in letting on that she knows... and stretch yourself a bit and let yourself be vulnerable back. Personally, I think, as hard as it is, I'd agree with Budder that option 2 is the best choice. I can guarantee you that once you have the talk... you'll feel about 100 pounds lighter. We're all here and we all have your back. Now all it takes is for you to take a deep breath and go for it
Well, as your mother she is probably really regretting her choice of words and it wouldn't surprise me if she came to talk to you first. No way should she have brought up kissing men etc. in front of your younger sister, that's nobody's business but your own. If she doesn't talk to you, you need to make the first move. Ask her what her motive was behind saying those things to you, tell her how it made you feel and then tell her why (come out to her). It's pretty much guaranteed that she already knows, so just confirm it and maybe in the future she will be a little more sensitive.
My mum also went and did something similar.. I was so shocked I couldn't speak.. I also didn't really deny it and kinda outed myself as bi even if they didn't really take it serious.. It's not a really good idea of your and mine mother to bring it up like that, especially not with, my sisters were also in the same room, our siblings there to hear.. For me, everything went back to normal, no one touch the subject and it's feel like i'm suffocating.. They all say stuff like eew, usch and so on when they talk about something that include two people of the same sex doing things like kissing, which makes me even more confused.. I hope you figure it out. of what do to next, and that your family accept the fact ^^ Take care!
thx for all the advice and support guys I know you´ve been telling me they know for a while, I just don´t know why there´s a part of me that still believes they might not know yet or kind of hopes they don´t. And I know maybe I should talk to my mom, but it just freaks me out too much, the fact of accepting something she believes is so wrong . I mean she did say that day that she honestly didn´t care what I did because I was a grown up... but she still has spoken against homosexuality too much. So its like, I don´t care if you want that, but I don´t like it at all... so if I officially accepted it, I have reasons to believe things would get extremely awkward in my house.... I dont know why, but Im just too afraid to say anything
This may be me giving a best case scenario here, but perhaps the reasons she is so against it is because thats all she has known. Maybe once/if you choose to come out to her, it may force her to read a little more into the subject in order to understand you better. You are her son after all and given all you have said in the past about them being totally against it, maybe you being open with her might force her to be a little more open??? If she learns more about what it means rather than taking the close-minded approach she has for most of her life, she may sooner or later be ok with it. Just me being optimistic but give it a thought. People tend to come around when they realize their tunnel vision views of things aren't always 100% true. She left you an opening and the fact she admitted it is your choice is already a step in a positive direction from what you have described. Good Luck
To me it sounds as if things are already extremely awkward. Except right now all the awkwardness is hidden just below the surface so that you can't work on clearing that awkwardness up and getting rid of it. Definitely don't do anything you aren't ready for, but at the same time things won't get better by leaving them alone.
