my life is miserable

Well I can't believe nobody has even posted in this thread. I guess its not really that active as it use to be.

But you shouldn't cut yourself just because you don't have friends. Listen I've been going for almost 8 years without friends, even though I might have people to talk to in High School, I didn't consider them the type of friends that I could talk with in an open way. Nobody ever knew I was gay, I mean I was so straight it wasn't even funny. If the so called friends left you because they found out the rumor of you being gay, then they were never friends at all.

Depression can sometimes be a bad thing to deal with, it can lead into many different problems, even suicide. You try your best to make new friends, ones that will accept you for who you are, if they can't accept you then they aren't worth knowing.

Yeah I would cry too when I would hear my Mom ask me, "so where are your friends at Brandon?" It was hard to tell them that I had no friends. You shouldn't give up hope on that, sooner or later you'll find friends. Again please don't cut yourself, its not worth the pain, I've struggled with depression for 8 years on my own, its a tough thing to deal with but if you feel that you can't deal with it on your own, find someone to help you through this, you should be left in the dark.

There are ways of telling your parents that you are depressed without having to come out to them. I know its hard having it all built up inside without anyone to be there to listen to what you have to get off your chest. But you can come here for advice. Don't feel you're alone, because there are a lot of people out there that are in your very same position, some have already taken their lives because they found no hope in ever finding friends or healing from the depression. (*hug*)

 

hey hornyboi_14,

Brandon pretty much summed it all up. But there are a few partial solutions to your problems If you are being harrassed, bullied or otherwise harmed (either psychologically or physically) you have the right to (and most certainly should) speak to a teacher/school counciler/co-ordinator at your school. They are the ones who have the power to stop that form of abuse.

Of course, if you wanted to leave it in your own hands, one way of doing so is "owning it". That is, accepting your sexuality, and acting in a way that you're proud of it, not taking shit from anyone. While it's a bold move and requires a deal of confidence, it can be extremely effective. If someone comments on your sexuality in a negative way, you can respond firmly with lines such as "yeah I'm gay - what's it to you?" or even play the offensive with "yeah I'm gay - but dont worry, I wouldnt touch someone who looked like you if i was payed" (depending on what you can get away with).

Remember that there is usually someone who's accepting of your sexuality - even if it doesnt look like it at first. And if the situation gets so out of hand, is it possible to move schools? get a new start? If not, do you have any brothers, sisters, cousins who you can trust and you would consider a friend? Even having the support of a family member can make things considerably easier.

Goodluck and please let us know possible ways to get through this, cause you're not alone.

 

Hey,

The biggest thing I can add is that it probably (quite definitely) will get better. Personally, I kinda realized I was gay in Grade 7 and continually lost social activities and friends until Grade 10. Things were not the greatest and I can understand the birthday parties spent essentially alone. Moreover, I was being terribly harassed and bullied by a group of females who used 'relational bullying' to ensure nobody talked to me.

Luckily, I could move to another, bigger school just an hour away. There, in my first year I wasn't too successful in making friends (just one, basically) but everything was just better and I wasn't being bullied and there were nice people to talk to. Then, in my second year at my new school (Grade 12) things were amazing: I got a counsellor. Figured things out. Felt much bettter. Became sociable. Came out to my friend, who turned out to be gay, and we're currently boyfriends (for 7 months). Made many more friends, started going to parties, then hosting parties. Came out to many friends (all very accepting) and my brother (100% accepting).

Then, just this summer I moved to an even bigger city and started university. For the last 2 months, I've been meeting amazing gay people (at a Queer Centre at the uni) and making friends and it's been great.

Anyways, this is just a personal example of going from every day being hell and constantly contemplating suicide... to amazingness. Really, I am so glad I didn't do anything stupid back in Grade 9 before I realized there's an amazing world out there full of accepting people and an amazing gay community. Hopefully, you got a little something out of this...

Anyway, good luck. Things'll get amazing for you once you get out of school and into university or a bigger city, I'm sure.