I have been trying to comeout to my roomate for a few weeks now. I know he is gay although he doesnt know that I know. I do not know why I am so scared to tell him. I want so badly for him to be with me. I would do anything for him. I hate the fact that he is seeing some guy who is like thirteen years older than him, and he is keeping it a secret. I have liked him for over ayear now. I think I am scared of the rejection. I have written a letter to him but I chickened out ofgiving it to him. I have written an email but I never sent it. I really just want to tell him. This is so terrifying. Please give me lots of advice....... LOTS. I am so scared. No one knows I am gay. I want him to be the first.
Send him a text. "Next time you're in, there's something I need to talk to you about. Don't let me forget." To be honest, if he received that he'd probably know what was coming, but he definitely won't let you get away without talking to him. Coming out takes a lot of courage, and the first is the hardest. Good luck!
The initial text is a good idea. That's how I set things up to come out to my friend as Trans a couple days ago. When ever somebody sees the phrase "We need to talk," or, "I need to talk to you about something," it tends to concern them and you can bet that, like Dr Acula said, he won't let you get away without talking to him. When I met with my friend, I couldn't back out because I'd already told him I had something important to talk about and he wasn't going to let me leave that place until I damn well told him what it was. As far as actually telling him, coming out is never easy and when your coming out to somebody you like, that's got to make it even more difficult. In that case you're dealing with the anxiety of coming out (and there is some, even when you're coming out to somebody who is already out, who's probably going to accept it pretty readily. You're still putting a piece of yourself out there and that's never easy). In addition, you're worried about the fear of rejection which compounds the issue even more. Take any suggestions I offer with a grain of salt. I'm not an expert and I don't offer a satisfaction guarantee, but if it were me, I would just start with the coming out if I were you and get that out there. After that, you can kind of gauge his response and get a feel for the mood. If things feel right, then maybe start to talk about your feelings for him. Even if you don't tell him about your feelings right his moment, at least part of the battle will have been fought, and then after a day or two sit him down. As far as coming out, nobody can tell you if it's the right time. The fear is natural and it's going to persist until you do. You'll know its right when you can push yourself through that fear and actually come out. As far as rushing in with everything all at once, I'll say it's not what I would do. (I could be wrong, and I know some people do exactly that and I'm sure it's even worked out well for some.) I'm just offering a little of my perspective here. He's gay, which means there probably won't be any trouble in accepting you as gay also. Though it probably isn't going to change what he thinks of you, it will still be a change in you compared to what he knew, and that often comes with, at the very least, a short period of adjustment for anybody, regardless of the circumstances. These are my thoughts and perspective on the situation. Hopefully a few other people will post here too and my recommendation would be to read what others say and then kind of use that to help you figure what's right for you. I hope this made sense, and I hope it was at least marginally helpful.
(*hug*) The first person to tell is always the hardest. It takes a lot of courage and trust. When you two get a minute, tell him that you want to say something to him. I think he'll take the time to listen to you. you just need to go for it and see what happens.
