Yes, I know, 'dyke' isn't a very appropriate term but my grandmother calls me it now that I dress like a guy. I need some advice with dealing with her because honestly, she's making me want to curse her out. And example would be just today, when I was wearing my cousins clothes, stuff he can't fit anymore he just gives me, she said 'looking like a dyke now? You going all the way?' cause I said I was bi before. Now I feel I'm actually a lesbian and her rudeness isn't making anything better. She just gives me an annoyed once-over and ignores me pretty much and only shows enough attention to get me to do shit for her or tell me to wear girls clothes. It's annoying, it's rude, it's thoughtless and when I ask her to buy me guys clothes her exact words to me were 'If I'm blind, half-deaf, dumb, in a wheelchair, don't know nobody, stupid, and near-death then yeah. But I'm not so hell no. You can buy your own damn clothes.' Hurtful and mean but I just said, 'ouch' like I was faking it and walked away. I really would appreciate some advice, because she's starting to really hurt me and I don't want to give up just because she doesn't like it. I want to be able to express myself in a way that I see comfortable and fit. She just makes it almost impossible and show's me she doesn't approve or like it.
Maybe you can tell her that you get that she doesn't like that you dress like a guy and that she has the right to, but that she doesn't have the right to be rude because you've done nothing wrong. You can also add that her comments are hurtful and are making you sad but that they're not going to change who you are. If you don't feel like telling her, I suggest you write her a letter about it. That would enables you to tell her everything you need to say without getting angry or upset at her. I hope things will get better with your grand-mother. Keep in mind that it's sometimes taking time to family members (especially older people) to accept that one of their relatives can be gay. Be patient. Take care, Cécile
