I used to think that the source of the distress in my life was that I was in the closet and if I could just come out, that everything would change and be okay. Today I realized that this was just a small part of why I am depressed. For about 5 years now, I've been extremely disconnected from my parents for many reasons. To sum things up, I have not come out to them and they abused me both physically and emotionally growing up. My father abandoned my family when I was 7 and I saw him once a month if I was lucky. Now I only see him a few times a year. My mother is bipolar and extremely overbearing and self-centered, but I cut her break because she never gave up on my family. Despite all of this, I figured I would give them one more chance. I spent Saturday with my mom, and today with my dad. After each meeting, I cried hysterically for a good 20 minutes, something that I never do. I realized that I have no love for these people, that I never felt love for them, and that I want them out of my life if I'm going to be able to move forward and live a healthy life. I am grown at this point, 22 years old and I'm moving out of the country in 3 months, and I do not want to look back on this mess that I was born into. Is this possible? Am I making a mistake? Am I a bad person for wanting this, or am I doing something that I should have done a long time ago? I look forward to hearing from you EC Community.
Personally I think it's perfectly fine to feel how you do. There are many people out there that don't get along with their parents and wish to not have any kind of relationship with them. It doesn't make you a bad person. If you feel it is best and what you need in order to move forward in life then you need to do what's best for yourself and what makes you happy. I don't think you really owe them anything.
If being around your family is toxic and unhealthy I think getting away from them and not looking back will probably be good for you. My dad was very abusive to me when I was growing up so I have distanced myself from him and as bad as this sounds I basically stopped caring about him, I hardly talk to him and I go out of my way to avoid seeing him. My mom is a manipulative person and like your mom is self centered and overbearing and she has a lot of issues that she refuses to acknowledge and try to work on. I do not have a healthy relationship with my parents and when I can support myself I plan to lessen my contact with them, I doubt I'll completely cut all ties, I still want my inheritance, I know that sounds bad but I'm not at the point where I want to burn that bridge, though someday I might. I know there are some people who look down on those who are not close to their families, but I honestly feel that there comes a point where cutting ties is much healthier for you and you need to take care of yourself. A few people that I know who cut ties with their families for similar reasons do not regret it and feel they made the best choice for their own well being.
