Hi, I'm new to the forums. I guess I can just get to the point. I've been feeling a bit unsure about my sexuality. I have always had relationships with men, but I have had several sexual experiences with women. Lately, over the past couple years, I find it harder to have sex with men. I have regretful feelings, even if the person is supportive, I still regret sex, almost every time. It just feels like this enormous pressure, and I don't feel excited, although I want to make my partners happy. For a long time, I have felt attraction for women, but I have never had a relationship with a woman. I've been starting to wonder if I may be a lesbian. There's not a huge jump from bisexuality to being a lesbian, but I'm starting to see my sexuality in a whole new perspective. I have wondered if may have only been with men, out of convenience or comfort, and now that I have been single for a while, and gained more confidence, maybe I might want to try having a girlfriend. I think about being with a woman most of the time now, although I am often completely discouraged about how to go about finding such a relationship. I am also really afraid of coming out of the closet, because of the culture I live in and a very narrow-minded environment that I'm currently dealing with. I'm an adult, but am not completely on my feet, financially. I'm trying to be more honest with myself and my feelings. I don't want to run away or hide from the truth, or take the easy way out by just conforming to society's idea of how people should be. I just want to find someone I can be happy with, some day. I know that happiness doesn't come from relationships, but if I am to be in a relationship I would like it to be for the right reasons. This is the first time I actually sit down and write about this sort of stuff...
Its good to write about your feelings. I know you didn't ask for advice per se, but I think it would be good for you to at least try having a relationship with a woman. If you aren't out you could always try online dating sites. If you would like someone to discuss this with in person perhaps you try counseling.
I agree with Jsnow. You don't know til you try. I am sort of in the same boat. For the longest time, I feel like I should be a woman. But I also am hung up with society and afraid. But as time goes on I am getting closer to getting out there and being me! It takes time but good things come to those who wait! Just stay strong!
