Hello! Essentially I feel the need to post yet another thread to get the help of you lovely people <3 Right, so after my recent success of telling my best friend I've been pretty comfortable with coming out and stuff, and I REALLY want to just be fully out of the closet now... The thing is, I don't want everyone knowing until I've told my parents... And that's where my problem lies... I don't feel ready to tell them :/ So... I don't really know what to do next, and I'm really frustrated - 'cause I wanna get it all over and done with and be out to everyone, but I really can't tell my parents yet.... :help: ??? (*hug*)
What's keeping you from telling your parents? I know it's a difficult thing to do (that's true for everyone), but what, specifically, do you feel like needs to happen before you're ready to tell them?
I just... I don't really know... -There's a part of me that feels too young to tell them (dunno why) -There's fear of rejection -I feel like... I need to wait 'til I tell them... I don't know why but... It just feels too soon, but I really wanna get it done soon so... I don't know it's confusing <3
Hi there! I think it is great that you are getting increasingly comfortable and to the point of wanting to be out. It is only natural and normal to feel worried about coming out to parents. The reasons you have listed are very common. (*hug*) Could it be that they might have mentioned something in the past, that underlines your apprehension or worries? If you are worried, or don't feel it is the right time yet for them to know, you could wait a bit longer, and in the meantime, try to get to the place, where you feel you can come out to your parents. During that time, you could try to sense as to how they feel about LGBT issues, by bringing up, say after your have heard something on the news or read online. The reaction will give you a good indication. Also think about as to who your parents know? Do they know or work with someone who is LGBT?
Well I know my Mum's worked with gay people before - but I've no idea how she'd react to her own son being gay... My Dad.... I've no idea about his opinions.... He constantly jokes that my younger brother's gay, but only in a playful way... I don't think he'd like a gay son, but then again I wouldn't expect any parent to... I know they're not generally homophobic people... but having a gay son is completely different :S
... when you read through a few threads, where members have come out successfully to their parents, you will probably realize that to a lot of parents, it doesn't matter if their son/daughter is not straight. Sure, some parents will need some time to come to understand it all, because every parent has their dream for their child. That dream is what is being readjusted during that time. But in a lot of cases, parents are happy that their child could tell them, and can see that everything is alright. You mom has already worked with people who are gay before. Did you ever hear here say something that could indicate to you that she is accepting? How is having a gay son completely different? (*hug*)
Awh, thanks for your help (*hug*) I appreciate it =D And she's said things like "Oh he was gay as anything but a really nice guy" or something - probably refering to the fact that the guy was really camp - which I'm not, thankfully xD And I guess I feel it's different to have a gay son because like... my parents may feel I'll never give them grandchildren or... never get married to a loving bride or... you know all those cheesey life things that parents want to happen xD I will go and read some coming out stories later, I think they may help <3
This is going to be all part of their readjustment. But most parents aren't all that much bothered by it, with the exception if they hold a very traditional view on life. Try not to over think it. You already have a good idea that your mom is accepting. You don't have to come out to both of them at the same time. You could come out first to your mom, if you wanted to, and then to your dad. I'm sure reading a few stories will help you a bit.
