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general questions

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by becca7, Oct 2, 2012.

  1. becca7

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    Hey all, basically just struggling with how to know if I am one way or another.. have only ever dated 2 guys but parts were missing that I can see now but don't know if that is because I am interested in women or just that I don't want sexual relations in a relationship. Please help, how can I tell? I mean, I know I've had instances of crushes on girls in the past but not sure if that means that this is part of me or not. Any advice would be good, thanks much :thewave:
     
  2. Mad1022

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    I feel ya. I like dudes and girls, I think, but I'm a little unsure if I really do. You just have to find yourself. Go with the flow and see where you end up. :slight_smile:
     
  3. SundayGirl

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    I am in the same situation. I have always dated men, some parts of which genuinely felt right and enjoyable to me, but then I have also carried around a secret fascination for women, which I had to finally acknowledge recently when I fell 100% in love with my female best friend. It's confusing and disorienting, I know!

    As for advice, I don't really have anything useful to add, other than just to remember to be kind and patient and gentle on yourself. Sometimes these things have to reveal themselves slowly - try to enjoy the journey of self-discovery. I've come to accept that it will probably take me another 10-15 years to fully understand my sexual orientation (no joke :lol:slight_smile:, but it's okay. I know I'll get there in the end.

    If nothing else, take care and have a hug. (*hug*)
     
  4. shaunnaj84

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    I have been in your shoes somewhat... my entire life I dated guys... A LOT of guys... I was married and I have the most adorable five year old daughter EVER!!! But every relationship I had ever been in failed... even my marriage... I had messed around with girls my whole life and even secretly dated a few... But now I am in a serious, monogamous relationship with a girl.. a girl I have had a thing for since high school and always said I would give up guys completely for her if she ever gave me the chance (she's strictly gay, never been with a guy in her life)...

    We have been together for almost two years now.. and I have never felt so in love, so alive before in my life!!!! She is "THE ONE" so to speak.. my life partner. Now I believe that I am gay 100%... that I was meant to be with her all along... and that maybe i should have even been gay my whole life...

    My advise is to just go with the flow.. live your life, however you choose with whoever you choose... male or female.. when you find the right one... you will know and it won't matter if you are gay, straight, bi or whatever.. all that will matter is that you want them and only them... it will consume you... it will be all you care about!

    GOOD LUCK!!! And Best Wishes in the paths you take to find your soul mate and find out who you truly are :slight_smile:

    xoxo
     
  5. xXPsychedelicXx

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    I know "go with the flow" can be very frustrating advice, but it really is the best thing to do. You're confused, so don't concentrate on giving yourself a label right now. Let yourself be attracted to whoever you want. Date whoever you want. Enjoy it. Discover yourself.

    And eventually, you'll figure it all out. :thumbsup:
     
  6. becca7

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    Yeah, that's the trouble I am having a major crush on my friend right now, and it just through me for a loop. Thanks for the advice :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 3rd Oct 2012 at 03:07 PM ----------

    Thanks for the advice everyone!
    I think this is definitely what I shall be doing, but how do I date women without being labeled as lesbian or date men and stay lesbian? etc.
     
  7. SundayGirl

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    Mhm... I would really like to hear some practical advice on this too. :slight_smile: I know I need to find out first-hand whether I'm actually physically attracted to other women, or whether it's just an emotional/psychological attachment. But I don't want people to make life-long associations about me before I'm even sure of it myself. Besides, I'm kind of scared to step out of my comfort zone. I wouldn't even know where to begin. :lol:
     
  8. shaunnaj84

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    [/QUOTE]I think this is definitely what I shall be doing, but how do I date women without being labeled as lesbian or date men and stay lesbian? etc.[/QUOTE]

    You are just now trying to discover for yourself who or what you are.. there are no need for labels.. however, if someone were to ask.. would u be comfortable telling them that you are bisexual or even curious or experimenting?